The Dangers of Running With Scissors
January 7, 2013 Shenanigans 0 comment SDeans13
Running with scissors can be very dangerous. Running could cause the scissors to become frightened, and may run away and be lost forever, not that this is likely, as scissors have incredible cardiovascular systems. This frequently causes people running with scissors to push themselves past their abilities.
Scissors are known to occasionally be great running partners however, as those who survive the grueling experience are rumored to go out to a glorious breakfast, with all costs, preparation, and cleanup taken care of by the scissors. However, this is the biggest lie since sliced bread. Scissors frequently bait people with this breakfast, but in reality, the breakfast is just toast and cheese.
Scissors should also not be run with because, quite frankly, they are jerks, Scissors, given their ability to run extremely well, frequently mock anyone they run with because they are terrible at running. Scissors are also able to run far ahead of their partner, another jerk move, and hide behind bushes that are ahead on the path. Then, when the scissor’s partner gets near the bush, the scissors jump out and scare them.
This is why one must always be cautious when running with scissors, if one is ever foolish enough to run with scissors in the first place. These cold blooded jerks are always on the prowl to find new suckers to run with. Scissors are constantly running with people, and it is the number one cause of people feeling foolish. Traumatic memories that are related to running, after running with scissors, also causes people to never want to run again. Not only can the want to never run again lead to an unhealthy lifestyle, but, after enough people stop running, then the running shoes industry could plummet, causing a drastic change in the way the world lives today.
It can also be noted that top scientists in the field have concluded that after prolonged exposure to scissors and their running, people seem to take on scissor like characteristics, a problem that currently has no cure and is sweeping the nation.
