The Oscillating Air Mover, a Deadly Killer
February 17, 2013 Shenanigans 0 comment SDeans13
The oscillating air mover, while being thought of as a revolutionizing invention, however the lethal device has been around for centuries. Having been recreated to become electrical, the oscillating air mover, to be call an O.A.M from this point forward, became closer to the deaths of millions after this electrilization.
While it may seem absurd, 90% of deaths that have occurred in buildings in the past 100 years. However, it can also be noted that of the deaths that did not occur in buildings, deaths in nature, were also shown to have 99% of victims in this category related to having at one point been in the same room as an O.A.M.
If these shocking statistics alone are not enough to cause fear of the O.A.M, it has been reported that this terrible machine has only two speeds, slow and fast. These of course represent the killing speed at which the O.A.M operates. It can also be reported however, that there is news of a new style of O.A.M. This new style is said to have an intermediate speed of killing, and one can only imagine how gruesome this middle ground is.
The O.A.M is also a merciless killer, not stopping at a single victim, but instead spreadings its deadly clutches upon whomever it can, especially during the summer months, when O.A.Ms are particularly active.
It is shocking that people continue to purchase these lethal machines, though perhaps its is because most people confuse the seemingly pleasant breeze this terrible machine creates to be a good thing, instead of one of the last things that they will ever feel. It has been previously noted how 93%of all people dying in the past 100 years have been in the same room as an O.A.M, but just about all 93% reported to have tempted fate and been in the same room as an O.A.M multiple times, with some of the earliest reports of O.A.M exposure being dated at directly after birth.
The O.A.M is not a kind machine either, it kills anyone, though it seems as though this machine strikes greatest upon the elderly, the fatally ill, and others who have preexisting conditions that create a life that is dated. This does not stop the O.A.M however, it just pushes this terrible machine to work faster, blowing its lethal air across the nation as it racks up a death count of millions.
