Old Doors Closing, New Ones Opening

Clara* and I have been in the same friend group, of ten dancers, for over a year, but the two of us have never been very close. Weren’t close friends until towards the end of November. Now she’s my best friend, and I know for a fact that she will be a lifelong friend. I was bringing Clara home one night after a long Friday night Nutcracker rehearsal. On that ride home we began talking about life and things we were going through. That is when I realized that both me and Clara were going through the exact same thing.

My best friend for almost 4 years had slowly stopped talking to me, I wasn’t sure why Mary* had cut me out of her life. I’d see her everyday in dance class, but she wouldn’t talk to me, I’d Snapchat or text her, I’d be left with the notification that she opened my message but never responded, every single time. She talked to the other dancers, but for some reason she wouldn’t talk to me. We were best friends, or at least I thought so. We used to do everything together, we hung out all the time, we went to Prom together, we had countless memories and inside jokes, but for some reason all of that had stopped. Initially I thought it was because she was going through a lot, but this time was different. I was left alone and confused.

As I was telling Clara about Mary, and how she cut me out of her life without explanation, Clara told me about how her best friend Quinn* had done the same thing to her recently. Both Quinn and Mary are part of the ten person friend group that me and Clara were part of, but neither me nor Clara had realized that the two of us were going through the same thing with our “best friends”. Me and Clara talked and talked and talked, we were finally able to rant to someone who understood what we were going through.

Clara suggested that I tried talking to Mary to see what was going on, I asked Mary and she responded with “We are fine, nothing is wrong”. Which wasn’t true, there definitely was something wrong, but she didn’t want to tell me, so I let it go. I was upset and frustrated, Clara helped me stay positive through everything. Clara was there for me when no one else was, she was always there to listen when I needed advice or just to rant. One day I finally got Mary to answer me, it wasn’t good though. She called me mean things and blamed me for things I didn’t do, she decided that she didn’t want me in her life anymore and said that she’s felt this way for over a year. It hurt. It really, really sucked. I cried for hours, questioning our friendship all together, and questioning myself as a person. Am I really all these things she called me? Is this who I am? Does everyone think of me like this? I was a wreck. I talked to Clara and told her what Mary had said, Clara was positive and assured me that everything Mary said about me was wrong. If Clara hadn’t have been there for me, I’m not sure what I would’ve done. Clara helped me figure out what to do about Mary, and helped me find a way to get through it. Clara reminded me that what Mary thought about me didn’t matter, and I can move past it.

Talking to Clara really changed my perspective and helped me deal with everything that was going on. She calmed me down, reassured me, and brought peace and positivity back in my life. I couldn’t be more thankful for everything that Clara did for me, just being someone to talk to, lean on, and rely on.

A few days later Quinn lashed out on Clara for no reason. She said harsh things to Clara, and made Clara feel terrible about herself. Clara came to me in tears, not knowing what to do, and what to say to Quinn. I put aside my problems to help Clara, I reminded her that she was not the person that Quinn said she was, and gave her positive things to think about. The same thing she had done for me, a few days earlier.

Clara is there for me, and I’m there for her.. Me and Clara have spent the last five weekends in a row together, having sleepovers, going out to lunch, or just hanging out. We may have lost our old “best friends”, but through it all, we’ve gained each other. We’ve helped each other to become more positive and happy people. Although we haven’t been close friends for very long, I know that me and her are going to be friends for a very, very long time.

In losing a friend I gained a better one. Clara has helped me to see the good in everything, to continuously move forward and not look back and I’ve helped her do the same. It’s crazy how someone can be going through the same thing as you, and you never would have known without talking to them. Because of Clara– I’ve learned that my happiness is more important than what others think of me. I honestly don’t know what I would’ve done if I didn’t have Clara through all of this drama, and she’s said the same about me.

The number one thing that both me and Clara helped each other learn was that no matter how bad things seem, something good will come from it. There is a silver lining to everything. We helped each other in dark times, and will continue to help each other through whatever comes next. I’ve never met someone more like myself, until Clara, we share the same passions, handle things similarly, and we think alike.

The biggest thing I learned in these last few months, is that one deep conversation could change your life forever. Clara and I helped each other through loosing our old best friends, but if neither of us had gone through that; we wouldn’t be as close as we are now.

* Names changed for confidentiality