It’s the Little Things

As someone with few friends, I often find myself overcompensating to form new bonds. While I am surrounded by people in which I see everyday, people who most would consider friends, I do not have anyone who I consistently hangout with or open up to. Longing to have this relationship that I witness between friends daily, I often try to connect with my acquaintances in hopes that they will fulfill this desire, becoming more than just the people I see everyday. Despite my failed attempts to make new friends, I continue to support the people around me- friends or not.

Knowing how it feels to be left alone, without help, I try to be there for others at all times. Although the help I provide may be miniscule, it gives me pride to know that I prevented someone from feeling helpless, even for a moment. Helping someone can be in the form of lending a pencil, giving a ride, or something much greater. During this basketball season, I have helped many of my teammates by explaining a drill or giving them a ride, however, one situation stands out. Following a game, I watched from as Anna stood outside of the school in the cold and dark by herself. I pulled up alongside the curb and offered to wait with her until her parents arrived. Anna originally refused, however, I convinced her to take my offer and lent her my phone, as hers was dead, to call her parents. For the next several minutes she waited in my car as we discussed the game that had just ended until her father pulled into the parking lot to pick her up. Even though Anna and I were not close friends, I could not bear to leave her alone unsure if she had a ride home. While she was not in any imminent danger, nor did she need any serious assistance, I have felt the loneliness that she was experiencing- as I had been in the same situation in years past- so I refused to leave her. I am not a captain, I am not responsible for Anna, and I was not expected to sit with her- I solely acted as I wish others had done for me.

While in those previous seasons my teammates did not stay with me when I was in Anna’s situation, I have had many people help me in other circumstances. Shortly following that night with Anna, I was faced with a situation that appeared far greater. After an unexpected incident I was left car-less at practice without a ride home. Being a late night practice, I was unable to stay at the school awaiting someone to pick me up. With only two other licensed drivers on the team, neither of which I would consider a close friend I was worried that I would be stranded, begging a coach or another parent for a ride home, which would surely be out of their way. To my surprise, Jade unexpectedly offered me a ride. Bringing me home meant much more to me than a ride when I needed one, it was a friend in a time of need.

Despite helping each other out, Jade, and Anna, and I are not closer than we were before. While I would, now, consider Jade and Anna friends, they are not my closest friends, nor am I theirs. Before this season, I would have only seen these two girls as my teammates, classmates, and acquaintances, however throughout basketball and aiding each other in our times of need I have found that friendships can vary in intimacy. I have friendships with Jade and Anna that allow us to be there for each other when needed, but our friendships do not extend to sleepovers and emotional talks. I do, however, have friendships that have reached a deeper level of connection. While I may not have many friends in which I spend a significant amount of time with, as previously mentioned, I have discovered that I have many more friendships than I had formerly realized.