Back stab of Life

Life, sometimes, can be terrifying to experience. Life can throw you to the bottom of a cliff right when you feel like you are in a safe space. Also, sometimes life can make you feel like you are buried six feet under the ground with no way out when you are already struggling prior.

Take into your consideration how terrifying as a simple doctors appointment. Just a simple trip for a 10-year-old girl to get her braces on. Although, this trip was not so simple. When they took the panoramic x-ray to see the structure of my teeth they called my mother into the room with me. Immediately something was obviously wrong due to how the nurses and doctors were acting as well talking. The tension just appeared to be getting heavier and heavier in the room. Once my mom got in the room they closed the door and put my x-ray up on the screen. I looked over at her due to I had no clue what it was supposed to look like and saw the concern and fear wash over her entire self.

Two years later that one doctor’s appointment turned into one Maine doctor calling me a medical freak, 6 major surgeries on my jaws and becoming diagnosed with one genetic syndrome and one cancer. This also entailed that my long-term dream of being able to one day and have a healthy family was crushed 6 months after that original x-ray. This got it so my own family was turning on me but trying not to show it. I lost one of my closest friends who then became a bully. Then due to everything that happened I was extremely depressed and had no will to live what so ever. I never understood why it had to happen to me, what I had done for this all to happen. I couldn’t wrap my head around why life was doing this to me when I had done nothing to it.

Even now, 8 almost 9 years later, I have just barely started to come to terms with this is what I have to deal with. This is what life has decided is my punishment for something. While good things have come from it, it is still terrifying. While life can be the terrifying, sometimes. There is normally more things that are good then in which are bad. There is an old saying that goes: The good normally always outweighs the bad. Or it might go something like that. All we can do is take it day by day and make each bad experience a learning experience.