Driving Myself Crazy

Getting my license was a chapter in my life that I am very happy to say has closed. I was so scared of driving for the whole time I had my permit. I would dread even getting into a car with my parents knowing the question was going to be posed, “Do you want to drive, Shelby?”. Of course every time I would come up with an excuse as to why I didn’t want to or “couldn’t” drive. I enjoy driving myself now but back then I acted like it was the worst punishment that could ever happen to me.

My first try was a few months after my 16th birthday. I went in thinking I was going to nail it and get it first try, but boy was I wrong. I couldn’t sleep for weeks just knowing that I would have to sit next to a complete stranger in uniform, someone who was going to determine whether or not I can drive by myself. That day was also the day we did PSAT’s, lucky me. Two horrible things in one day. I get called out of school and I head to the DMV for an hour drive around with someone from Roy’s Driving Academy. I had heard that many people had passed first try when they got that refresher course from Roy’s so I decided that I had to do it as well. When I got there, the driver instructor was waiting in his car for me. I got into his red car, adjusted the seat and began to drive. The whole time the instructor was giving me pointers as to how to pass my driver’s test. It’s hard to focus on both the road and to his advice but I tried my best because I wanted to know all there was so that I could pass. After we got back to the DMV, I felt pretty good, although my heart was beating a million beats a second. I sit in the car with my mom, waiting to back my car into the horrible slanted parking spots reserved for road test applicants. When it was time, I back my car into the spot and walk inside for my eye test and to get the paperwork to start my road test. I could barely speak, my palms were sweaty, and you could hear my heart beating right out of my chest. I sit and wait in my car for the proctor to walk out. I had heard stories about each proctor, who I wanted and who I did not want to get. As soon as I saw a woman walk out the doors and to my car, my heart dropped. This was the woman one of friends told me I did not want to get. I got even more scared but I kept cool, calm and collected, or as best as I could. I was polite and kind towards her in hopes that it would help give a leeway to giving me my license. The whole time, I thought I was doing pretty good. Looking over my shoulder, maintaining a good speed, yielding to pedestrians, but apparently this was not good enough. As soon as I pulled back into the DMV, she told me I would have to come back to try again soon. This devastated me, knowing that my sleepless night and late night driving practice sessions would have to come back again when I got my date back for the next road test.

The next road test rolls around, I was just as nervous as the first time but still had the thought in my head that I could pass. I get to the DMV, back into those once again horrible slanted parking spots, and my heart started to beat right out of my chest knowing I would once again have to sit next to a complete stranger. I sit in my car and wait. Soon a man walks out, he seems to be a decently nice looking person so my nerves ease down a bit. But as soon as he spoke, I soon knew he was not going to be a kind man. I had recently put a new car freshener in my car, but he as soon as he sat in my car he said, “Wow! Seems like someone got a new air freshener and it’s strong”, as he is rolling down the window. I begin to drive and everything just went wrong. I had never drove that bad in my whole life. I could not blame him for not giving me my license that time, I wouldn’t have given it to me either.

Fast foward quite a chunk of time and I was ready to try again and get my license. This time I practiced until I felt like I could do it that very second and pass with flying colors. I was still nervous but not as nervous as I had been the two other times before. I get ready that morning since this was an early road test, earlier than any of the ones before, I did not put on any makeup because I somewhat thought I wasn’t going to get it with my luck and the nerves that get to me. But I get in the car and drive to the Lewiston DMV, as soon as I got there I backed into the parking spot and walked inside to await the paperwork needed for the road test. As soon as I got out to my car, a man walks out, weirdly the same man that had given me the paperwork moments before. As soon as he sat in my car I knew I wasn’t going to be as nervous for this test as I was for all the other ones. He was so kind and talkative, something that made me feel very comfortable. He asked about college and what I do for work and all other small talk topics but I didn’t care. He knew how to calm down nervous teenagers. As soon as we pulled back into the DMV, he asked me whether or not I needed glasses and that’s when I knew I had passed the road test and had gotten my license. I was so excited I could have screamed in excitment. As soon as he got out of my car to go to the next road test of the day, I ran inside to tell my mom. Everyone in the whole place knew that I had just passed because my mom was yelling in excitement. They all congratulated me and to this day, that may have been one of the best days of my life so far.

Overall, it was a long and tiring process getting my license. I didn’t know if it would ever happen. The ability to laugh now about how stressed I would get is something funny to me. Back then, I hated driving and having to prepare for the road test but now I like driving and I like the freedom more than anything. One thing that I laughed about when it comes to driving and cars was that the other day I was on my way home from dance and I realized I needed gas so I went to the closest gas station to my dance studio and pulled up to a pump. As soon as I got out of the car, I realized it was a diesel only pump. How silly can I be? I laughed and got back into my car to pull up to gas pump instead. The ability to laugh at yourself is a trait all humans should possess, making life simpler and happier.

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