Tony Hawk’s “Pro” Skater

I once made a mistake by thinking I could ride a skateboard. I was binge-watching a YouTube channel called Braille Skateboarding, who are professional skateboarders who mainly get send different items, they put trucks and wheels on pretty much anything, then attempt to ride these items successfully. This could be anything from glass, to TVs, to surfboards, concrete, LEGOs, hair, spiked baseball bats, or wrenches, they’re nuts. So, of course, after a few days of binging on these skateboarding videos, I figured, “Well, if these professional skateboarders who’ve been skateboarding all of their lives can skateboard a pool noodle then surely I can skateboard a normal board, right?” So, of course, I go to attempt this seamless frame of intelligence.

Grabbing my brother’s multi-colored, worn-down skateboard, covered in some scratched out graphic of a green demon goat or something, I went outside. After shakily managing to stand on it, I waddled down the street very slowly on the board. After getting up from a very slow pace to a slow pace, I figured, “How about I try a manual?” Worst idea I could’ve thought of other than, “What if I smashed my head in with the board?” Now, if you don’t know, a manual is basically tilting your board up to around a 45-degree angle while moving forward on the board, it’s hard to do without knowing how to skateboard or having good balance, fortunately, I possess neither. My attempt at this didn’t go well, which I should’ve seen from the start, but my common sense parts of my mind clearly weren’t firing that day. Needless to say, the board flew out from underneath me, rocketing down the street as my body was tossed up into the air before landing on the unforgiving pavement, I couldn’t have felt like more of an idiot. My body didn’t care much for me that day.

Not my proudest moment, but at least I didn’t sustain any injuries other than a scrape on my hand and a shameful walk back inside, I’ve hopefully learned that I can’t skateboard, but, every time I watch Braille Skateboarding, I get that urge to ride a board again, it’s incredibly annoying, I don’t recommend it to anyone. It’s hard not to want to do something when a bunch of professional’s make it look so easy, you think that you can do it no problem, or at least quickly, kinda like the first time anyone starts to learn an instrument, you want that instant satisfaction. It’s like when you watch a cooking show and you see a masterful dish, then you make it yourself and it’s garbage, or when you watch a home renovation show and you try finally fixing that toilet that’s been broken for six months and your entire lower floor floods or something. It’s disappointing, but once you turn that cooking show or home renovation show back on, you wanna get another go at it, it’s that drive to overestimate our own abilities and fail miserably, it sucks.