The Possible Outcome

I’ve always been an outgoing person who can easily talk to people and get to know someone new. But what most people do not know is that I have a hard time standing up for myself, if I even do it at all. It does not matter if the problem is as silly as the bus driver going past my stop everyday or as important as mistreatment from a math teacher; I choose to not say anything. The ironic thing is that I was not brought up to hide my feelings or not stick up for myself, yet for some reason I still do. However, during my freshman year I learned the very reason why sticking up for yourself and your actions is so important.

It was the summer after my freshman year in high school. I had just finished an amazing year participating in jazz band, so I decided that attending a week-long band summer camp sounded like fun. Before the end of the year, I talked with teachers and arranged scholarship plans, and eventually ended up getting a full scholarship to attend the camp at the University of Maine Orono. It was a really great opportunity for me and I was really looking forward to it.

Now I’m a homebody so I like to stay close to home, but I figured I was going to only be a few hours away, playing music with some talented people, so I would be able to keep my mind off the fact I was away from my family. I quickly learned that was easier said then done. The people who attended this camp were insanely musically inclined. It was easy to tell that they eat, sleep and breathe music–the exact opposite of me. I enjoy music but it is not something that I focus on twenty-four seven. Even so, I decided to give it a try.

Band camp was the most exhausting thing I have ever participated in. It was getting up at 4:30 in the morning just to be able to shower and constantly doing music until ten o’clock at night with only a break for lunch and dinner. I was having a hard time adjusting. The schedule was so rigorous and I was out of my comfort zone so much that I began to wake up with a migraine every morning.

Migraines have always been a problem for me, they are chronic and vicious. So, I have a prescription for when I can feel the onset of a migraine, and I also use Excedrin Migraine in combination if it is really bad. Of course the camp had a nurse on site, but she was only available from 7:30 to 10. Knowing my history of really bad migraines and barely being able to function with an untreated migraine, I chose to break the rule of no medicine in dorm rooms and keep a prescription pill with me in case I woke up in the middle of the night with a migraine. Sure enough, it was only my third day at band camp and I woke up with the worst migraine. It was before anyone was awake so I just decided to take the prescription I had in my room. I took a shower and waited for the nurse to be open so I could combine my prescription that I had taken with an Excedrin. When 7:30 rolled around I went downstairs and told the nurse I had a migraine, but that I thought it was just from stress, so I only wanted to take an Excedrin. She suggested that I take my prescription as that was my normal procedure. In the back of my head I kept thinking, “I already did”, so I again said I would be fine with just an Excedrin. The nurse insisted I take a prescription and handed me the pill and some water. Not wanting to get kicked out, or just say no., I took the pill. That meant I had just taken two, twenty-five milligram prescription pills within a half-hour.

Immediately after taking the second prescription pill I knew I made a mistake. What the heck was I thinking? I was on the verge of tears and ran to an empty group area where I could call my mom. A million thoughts were racing through my head. I was so scared, worried that I was going to die from an overdose because I couldn’t just say ‘no’. When my mom answered I told her everything and to save time, her advice was, “You need to puke.”. How do I do that? I’m attending a camp where you have to be alongside someone to go pretty much everywhere, how was I going to make myself puke and not have anyone ask questions? I ended up going to the dining hall for breakfast. I did not eat, I only went because of my roommate. Instead, I sat there bouncing my leg and taking deep breaths to try to stop myself from puking all over the table. Finally when I couldn’t take it anymore I told my roommate I did not feel good and that I needed to go to the nurse. I did not even make it around the corner of the walkway outside the dining hall before I puked right there in the bushes. I saw my pill come back up, but I still did not feel better.

Long story short, I was so sick that I spent the whole day in the nurse’s office puking, not even being able to sit up without vomiting. It was so intense that the nurse called my mom to tell her they were bringing me to the hospital, and her knowing the whole situation, she ended up just bringing me home. Completely packed up all of my stuff and took me home. After a couple of hours at home, I made a full recovery.

I made it three days at band camp. I was not really enjoying myself, so I was not upset about going home early, but the reason why I did was scary. If I would have just said no the first time to the nurse I would not have put myself in such a risky situation. That one pill could have been so much more serious and I thank God that it did not end up any differently. Standing up for yourself is important, and I realized how huge of a mistake I made the moment after I took that second pill. Mistakes were definitely made, and lessons were most certainly learned. Always stick up for yourself!

Photo on Foter.com