English Stress

My first semester of Junior year, English class was one of the hardest classes because of the amount of workload they put on us. I was panicking really, really bad stressing my brain out, my heart was racing, my head was scrambled filled with thousand of thought running around. Which is why English is always what I stress about at the end of a semester, what most students at school cal itl hell week. It does not help that I also procrastinate which stresses me out even more but I got a friend who was in the same boat, maybe worse. So we had each to help with work or calm down when we were stressing out was to much to do anything. Just them and me, we were worked together getting work done as fast as we could. That was the goal to pass the semester and we tried our hardest to achieve that goal together. We kept on telling each other over and over, “just breath, you got this, I believe in you.” We just repeated that same phrase over and over again until we calmed down and was thinking straight and continued our essays and other work.

We got all the work done by the very last day of the first semester and it was like a weight was lifted of my chest, like a mind was finally clear from a cloud. I let out a sigh of relief thinking to myself, “thank goodness, I passed, Barely, but I passed.” The week everyone dreaded was finally ended. After that I decided to do my work on time for the second semester of high school. Second semester came around And I was doing good. Me and my best friend kept on encouraging each other and my work got done. It came down to the last week and I had two or three essays to do. I got them done those first three days and the last two I just play, talked, and encouraged my very best friend to keep on going. I do not know why but the first semester is always putting things off to the last week, the last minute and I get so stressed out till the very last day of the semester. Then when the second semester comes around I feel like I am going to be more prepared and will feel less stressful about the workload, I hope at least though.

So after school ended and it was the summer before senior year I told myself “get your work done, you do not want a repeat of last year again for the fourth time in my high school career” I relaxed that summer and felt good planning my senior year, feeling good about the next year, my final year of high school. I felt really good because I set it up to have a study hall the first semester. I felt confident in getting things not expecting what was going to happened. It was two weeks before school started and I got my schedule and it was not what I expected or wanted. I had no study halls in first semester instead I had to take FLiP class, which I did not sign up for which lost me the study hall spot. And I could not change it, I had to take FLiP, but I had to do it and I accepted it but I wanted to think on the positive side. So i convinced myself that I will do fine without a study hall.

Summer ended it was the first week of the year I was ready as I ever could be and was going to try and turn things in time. I did not want to procrastinate anymore I did that for a month or two but then I got behind in one assignment and then the procrastion started happening and I just focused on other things and left english alone mostly and that’s how I got here writing this post the day before the semester ends. Stressing out will I pass will I fail who knows but I do know that procrastinating sucks and is addictive once you start you can’t stop not doing things and it becomes a spiral. You are just digging a bigger hole the longer you wait, the longer you procrastinate the more the hole becomes larger and larger making it harder to fill up. It is like a never ending vicious cycle that is very hard to get out of. Like the little girl named Alice from the world called Wonderland who kept on falling down the rabbit hole, just falling and falling until she reached wonderland and everything got worse from there. Once one happens it starts a chain reaction and things just go down after that, like dominos one thing falls so do the rest.

Now It is senior year and we are both still procrastinating but this time the stress is different and now we are not in the same class but I kept on going back to that day. Thinking how I might have better off if only I had that reassuring voice saying, “Breath, you got this, I believe in you.” while we work together on essays together and other work. But we are both stressing out millions of thoughts racing in my head, forgetting the most basic of things and words, and my heart pounding like it wants to jump out of my chest. Even though we do not see each other as much, we are still calming each other down and reassuring that everything will be alright trying to convince ourselves that we got this. Taking in deep breaths, breathing out, and repeating over and over again. Trying to destress waiting for these reassuring, calming, helpful, and motivated words to be spoken out of their lips, “Breath, you got this, I believe in you.” Those eight words that make everything better, the words that makes my heart slowing down.

Photo by anggarfer on Foter.com / CC BY-NC-SA