Sometimes You Just Need a Friend

There have been many times where I have needed help in my life. I have had bad experiences inside and outside of school. The worst experience however, was the time I lost my best friends and my dog all at the same time. These friends I had were my best friends for many years. This all changed my freshman year. It happened five days after Christmas. It was heartbreaking for me. I remember being in my room crying, while watching Pitch Perfect. Who cries during Pitch Perfect? That movie is not sad at all. My dog had just died though. I had her since I was four years old, I even picked her out. She was a beagle and her name was Cajun. She had hip problems near the end of her life, it happened so sudden. We did not want to watch her suffer and decided to put her down. I could not go, it was so hard hugging her for the last time. Watching my father carry her out of the house was one of the worst experiences of my life. The worst part was I was going through this hard time and two people I thought would be right there for me abandoned me. They did not care that I was hurting, they did not care that it was the worst thing I had ever experienced in my life. All the time I spent with them, all of those memories I had to let go of them to try to release the pain of needing them. At that time I had three people who I thought I could count on no matter what, then two of them left. I did not even feel like talking to the one who stayed. It was wrong of me to do, it is just how I felt in that time. Nothing in my life was going right in that moment. I cry hearing about any dog dying. Then having it be my dog, it crushed me. My father realized how sad I was, asked me if there was anything he could do. I just wanted to be left alone, it was like my whole world was crumbling down. He knew everything that happened with my friends at this hard time and told me constantly that I needed to talk to the one who was still there for me. He told me I needed to receive her kindness because somehow he knew she would still be there for me. I guess I just assumed she would leave too. He has always told me “give kindness, receive kindness.” My father let me know I have always been kind to her and it was time for me to allow her to show me how kind she could be. Then I finally talked to her the one person who was still there for me. Still depressed, she told me that I needed to get up and go to a party we were invited to. This was shocking to me, she has a hard time with feelings and helping people especially when they are sad. I did not want to go to that party, in fact she kind of forced me. I actually had a good time. She never left my side, always checking up on me, making sure I was okay, and finding other ways to make me smile even when I wanted to cry. Little by little she made it easier for me, and to this day she is still my best friend. She is the one who never left and for that I am thankful.

My friends come to me for help for many reasons. Boys, school, work, what clothes to wear, etc. just about anything. Sometimes it is for things much deeper then what do I wear to this event. The time I helped a friend to not commit suicide was the most meaningful time I have ever helped a friend. It saved her life. During this past summer my friend came to me with all of the problems she has been having with the guy she is with. He basically does things and says things that make her feel like trash. A very controlling person to which if it is not his way he is horrible. Anyways, it was 1:00am and someone had called me multiple times. I am a heavy sleeper so I finally woke up and saw the name and picked up. All I said was hello, and she was crying and scared, she said she did not know what to do. I asked her what happened. She told me that her and her boyfriend had gotten in a pretty bad fight and he told her he was going to leave her and move back to Florida the next day. Then she said she could not stand the fact that he would leave her. Just to give you some background this girl has been in the foster care and has gone to many different places. One of her brothers had died and she has one brother living that she talks to in her actually family. He is the only one she has ever met, this means she is very clingy if she loves you, she can not lose you or she hurts all over again. Memories of her parents not wanting her flood back in her mind. Anyways she then told me she wanted to end all of her pain said “if I just take these pills the pain will go away.” I asked where she was immediately, she told me and I said I was going to pick her up. I stayed on the phone with her the whole time until I got there. When she got in the car I knew she had nothing on her because I checked to make sure she could not hurt herself with anything. She cried in my arms for a long time. I drove her around and just listened to her. Told her he is not worth it and that I need her to be okay. She told me no one has ever done anything like this for her before. I told her she is one of my best friends and to remember the pinky promise. That is another story I wont go into. I talked to her for hours and finally she admitted she did not want to end her life and that she knows it is not a good solution. She was astonished that I actually came to be there for her. I told her I needed to make sure she would be okay and that I wanted to get her in a safe space where she could think about what she was saying and talk her out if what she wanted to do. She told me I saved her life that night. Nothing in the world mattered to me that night except her safety. I know she would do the exact same thing for me if I were having those thoughts.