Family By Choice

By definition family is: a group consisting of parents and children living together in a household or all the descendants of a common ancestor. This means that family is only considered to be the people that you share common blood DNA with. I however,  disagree strongly with that. To me, family is represented by the people who are there for you mentally, emotionally, physically, no matter what is happening. It is represented by the people blood or not have always treated you well, the people that have given you the belief in yourself, the people that when things get hard do not tell you what you want to hear , but rather what you need to hear. The people who teach you valuable lessons about reality, the real world, and your own self. I believe family is represented by the ones that care about you enough that even on their bad days they make time to listen and interact with you. Most of all family means that when it really comes down to it those people will always be there for you when you need it. Whether you need you need to just talk or you need help moving in or anything in between.

When I was about eight years old I found out that two of my “grandfathers” or “pa” and “grandpa tubbo” as I called them, and still do, were not my biological relatives. My Grandpa Tubbo had been married to my Nana when my mom was a little girl and was the only father figure my mom ever knew. From as far back as I can remember he was always there at family events or gatherings, always there to help us fix our cars or house, and helped us move into our house when i turned twelve. When I found out that I was not blood related to him for me it changed nothing. I still saw him as my grandfather from my moms side. Even after he divorced my Nana and moved he still came around to help us out whenever we needed. He often took us grandchildren to the lake, camping, fishing, or just about any other outdoors event you could imagine. He gave me someone to talk to from a very young age.  My other grandfather or “pa” as I referred to him had married my grandmother long before I had ever been born. From my earliest memories I can recall days at our camp in Oxford on the lake, out on the boat, around the fire, grilling burgers in the 4th of July, or all the birthday parties I had at their house. My grandfather always installed from a young age what it meant to be a real and hardworking person. He helped create my drive for anything I did, but yet always seemed to be the one to open me to the real and not so pleasant part of reality. He wanted me to know that no matter what he had my back, but he also allowed me to experience some very hard things in my life. He never ran away or just let me go he always had my back and kept our relationship a good one.

These relationships I have with these two men helped me realize a few things. First, it taught me that blood relation does not define who your family is, your family is the people around you and show you love, care, and acceptance no matter what you are doing. Second, they taught me how to own my mistakes and move forward. Lastly, they taught me that through hard work, a will to succeed, and a little bit of luck anything is possible. After finding this out I think it actually made our relationships stronger because it showed me what family really should be. That through all the personal struggles you go through you can always show the people around you love and care. It also showed me that the family by choice can sometimes be more loving, supportive, and caring that the family that is blood related. These two men have showed me what it means to be a true person and also a true relative. I can say with one hundred percent certainty I would not be the same person I am today without these two men.

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