When Words Fail, Music Speaks

I have been playing clarinet since fifth grade, this was the year that we got to start band. I remember how excited I was to be getting my instrument. I had decided that I wanted to play clarinet after finding out that it was the instrument that my father had played in high school, I was constantly modeling myself after him. I remember getting on the bus after getting my beginner clarinet book and flipping through it, trying to memorize all of the notes.

Middle school band came around, and I was more there to hang out with my best friend at that point. Clarinet was just a hobby for me, and I barely practiced outside of band or school. Well until I got a little crush on this boy who was constantly in the music room. I ended up following him there and practicing. We practiced in the morning before school, during lunch, sometimes after school. After a while it just became like a competition to me. Even though he played saxophone and I played clarinet, I was determined to best him. That never happened for me, not even to this day. Nevertheless, I was determined to keep up with him. He’s the reason I became invested in my music.

Now onto the next chapter, the high school band. High school band was run by Mr. John Neal, someone who we had heard so much about throughout our middle school career. We were all so excited for everything that high school music had in store for us. It was a new challenge that I was ready to conquer. High school band meant auditioning for our chairs, recorded band quizzes, concert and self-evaluations, and working on our audition pieces for District Three and Allstates. I spent so much time with Mr. Neal on my audition piece. When the day of auditions came, none of us felt ready. My freshman year auditions were held right here at Oak Hill High School. This meant that all of the music kids from OHHS were helping in some way shape or form. Calling names, running people to their assigned audition rooms, while also making sure that we were ready for our own audition. I don’t remember what happened during the audition, but I know I did not feel ready at all. I was incredibly nervous, all of the hard work I had put in came down to this moment.

About a week after auditions, I remember walking into band and asking Mr. Neal if he knew about D3 and he just said that we’d talk about it. I remember my heart dropping, It didn’t sound good and I was already ready to cry. He started talking to us about Districts and told the band that only one person had made it in. How could it be me, I was only a freshman and a ton of people played clarinet, but against all odds I made it in. I couldn’t believe it. After a few more weeks, my music came in. One of the songs, With Every Winter’s Breath, had an absolutely gorgeous clarinet solo that I fell in love with. As I started to work on my music for the upcoming concert, I relied on Mr. Neal’s help quite a bit. I told him I really wanted try for the solo at the festival, so he started working on it with me. He had me play the solo part for him. He gave me some tips to improve upon it. Then he asked me what I thought the tone of it was, whether it was light or dark. I told him that it was dark, and he asked me how I would be able to show the darkness of the melody. How could I change the notes on the staff into music? How could I play this with all the feeling that was behind it? This is when Mr. Neal told me something I will never forget. He told me that sometimes it is not what is on the music that is more important than what is. It’s figuring out what the tone is, and how to implement it into the piece. It’s figuring out how to make the music flow. It’s taking the notes on the page and making a song into music.

James may have started my career in music, and was the person who got me invested, but Mr. Neal will always be my inspiration for wanting to be a music teacher. I want to be able to reach kids the way he reached me. If I can have one moment like that with one of my future students, then I will know that I have succeeded in my goal. I can only hope to try to be half as good as Mr. Neal.

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