The Beautiful Dark Waters

I stayed indoors. No, not literally, but I never explored, never dared to venture and see what High School may truly offer. I was content with sitting in the back of class, with my headphones in and my brain on sleep mode; content with watching as my peers succeeded around me, and still managed to participate in school events. As everyone else went out with their friends, participated in Winter Carnival, acted and danced in the class movie trailer, or went to watch a football game; I stayed content as I sat at home struggling to make up the work that I shrugged off at school, only for it to bite me as I struggled to keep my head above the water, that is passing the grade. I allowed myself to sink in the dark waters that was high school, plummeting further and further down, until nearly no light could be seen, I knew full well that the sun didn’t reach this far into the water. Yet, when the semester inevitably slowed to a close, I found myself panicking as I clambered for any sliver of hope, continuously blaming others for why the light rays dared not venture this deep into the water. That was freshmen year.

Once Sophomore year rolled around, and I somehow managed to resurface above the water, but life didn’t get easier. There was still work to be done, and makeup to be finished from my extensive procrastination during my previous year as an irresponsible freshmen. Although, there was a change, not a grand and miraculous change, no no no, but yet there was still a change. However slight, when I stepped foot back on the red tiles of the lobby for the first day of my Sophomore year, I was more determined. I would not allow my grades to plummet to where they had before, I would work hard and pass with flying colours. And with this change; I began to swim. Life still wasn’t perfect however, I still stayed in the corner of class, not daring to venture outside of my comfort zone and participate in after school activities, frightened that it might invade my personal life, and shrink my expansive amounts of free time. I wasn’t perfect, but still I improved, and that was my Sophomore year.

So Junior year flys around and I’ve improved yet again, I sit in class and finish my work, I grit my teeth and make up for my past mistakes, finally healing the bruises from my freshmen year. I begin to get my work done on time, and for the first time ever, I choose to sit in the middle of class. Stepping out of my comfort zone and participating with others out of school, so I joined Cross Country. Now personally I do admit, Cross Country turned out not to be my thing, something about the whole “running” thing really seemed to exhaust me, but I did not quit. No I strived forward, and persisted to the end, come around to the end of the season, I qualified for MVC’s, and I hated it. Although, Mr. Anderson, the Cross Country coach noticed my lack of determination before the race and gave me a proposition, “If you don’t come in last, I’ll get you a slice of Pizza.” (*snap*)  Just like that, it was on. The race began, and I quickly realized what I’d gotten myself into, everyone was so good as they flew right down the trail, leaving plumes of dust in their wake, but darn it I was promised Pizza and I was gonna get it. So when I finally crossed the finish line, I had a smile on my face; I came in second to last. With this evolution of myself, I began to tread water, upon the dark waters, I came across a small raft, and promptly climbed aboard. Engraved into the side of this raft, in big, bold letters, were the words “Work Ethic.”

Senior year, “finally I can get out of this place” I think, as I sit down attentively in class, finishing work on time and listening to those around me. I had finally done it, my grades were stable and I was blowing through my High School career. It was then I realized I messed up. Realized that High School might be hiding something just beneath the surface, hiding something so obvious that all it takes is to brush off the thin layer of dust to expose it; and so I did, and underneath lied something so painfully obvious, that under that thin layer of dust was an old and wise plaque, the simple words engraved upon its metallic surface read; “Make the most of it” and then I understood. After four years of trial and error I finally understood. After High School there’s no going back, no do overs to fix my mistakes, even the time that I took staring at this dusty plaque ate away at seconds I could never recover. So I set off, I started hanging out with friends out of school, I participated in Spring Fling, as well as the Senior Movie Trailer. For the first time in highschool, I found myself genuinely satisfied with my time spent at school. For once, I was not wasting this precious time I had been given, but instead took risks, and nurtured it, choosing to use it instead of letting this precious time rot. It was a bit late by the time I figured it out, but I’m glad I did. The wind swept the raft and I, along the water, and as the clouds dispersed I could finally see under the gentle waves. The once dark waters, deceived my eyes, but now that the sun was shining brilliantly; I could see the beautiful coral reefs, and the schools of colorful fish as they gracefully carved their way through the water. I peered over my raft into the clear, blue waters and smiled; I stayed there for a awhile. Just watching the beauty of the waves, as they peaked and dipped, watching all the sea life go about their business, I was astonished, it was always there, I was just too blind to see it. When I finally decided to look up, I smiled; there in front of me… was land.

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