Don’t Be Scared

My sophomore year math class was not a good experience for me, at all. I feel as though math was my strong suit growing up. I mean I didn’t stand out and I wasn’t in any advanced classes, but it was always the thing I enjoyed most in school. But, after getting into high school, that thought changed real quick. Things progressively started getting more and more complicated and it was hard for me to understand a lot of things, especially in my sophomore year math class. There was just all of these weird signs and things to remember, and equations that my brain could not comprehend, especially at the fast pace we had to learn everything.

As the class got further into the units, I (and probably many others) became confused with all of the angles and measurements and SAS or ASA crap, to the point where I pretty much never knew what the heck I was doing. Now throughout these many units of work I definitely could have asked many questions, in fact I did have many questions, but I never did because I was afraid to ask something and turn out looking stupid in front of the whole class.

So I went on, trying to make myself understand everything that was being taught to everyone. This is when I really realized that math was NOT my strong suit at all. There were just so many things I didn’t know, I didn’t understand why we even need to know these things when I most likely won’t even use them ever again in my entire freaking life. My brain was full of questions that were probably stupid so I just never asked them.

Coming to the end of the last semester my sophomore year, of course it was stressful as any, I was trying to get everything done and retake any test that I failed even if I didn’t know what the test was even over. I just hoped and prayed that I would end up with at least an 85 so I could have honors. So scrambling on the last day and finally passing in my final test, I almost had that great feeling of relief…until I realized that I wasn’t technically done because it wasn’t graded. After checking Infinite Campus about 20 million times looking for a grade, it finally showed. The final grade for the end of my sophomore semester was an 83. An 83, two points away from an 85. Two damn points away from honors.

After being super upset about ruining my goal in high school of remaining of the honor roll all fours year of high school, I had to think. I thought about all of the questions I had that I though were stupid. I thought about every time I sat in class confused, alone and scared to get help. I thought about how maybe, just maybe if I had asked those questions, then maybe I could have passed my sophomore math class with an 85 and remain on the honors list. I thought if I would have just gotten help from anyone, then my high school goal wouldn’t be crushed and I would be going on my seventh semester in a row of being on the honeroll.

I never once stayed after school for extra help, or never once took the time to sit down with my teacher and have a conversation about how I can fix things and how I can better understand what I work with every day. I just put off all my questions ignored the fact that I the help that I wanted was sitting right in front of me the whole time.

Now, I could place blame on others for missing honors by two points my sophomore year, I really have to blame myself for not finding the confidence to ask for help on those several questions that would frequently pop into my head throughout every class. It is my own fault for worrying too much about what others will think instead of worrying about myself and what I needed to succeed.

So in the future if there is ever a question that you have and are too afraid to ask, my advice is: just ask the damn question otherwise you’ll spend so much time trying to figure it out on your own, when all the answers that you need is right in front of you everyday. Instead of thinking that you are going to look stupid for asking a question, think about how much it will advantage you more than others because you will know more than they do.

Besides, most of the time at least one other person is always thinking of the same or similar questions that you are, so don’t think you are the only one that sounds stupid when you’re not.

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