Everything happens for a reason

Photo on Foter.com

Everybody asks questions, when they don’t understand something or even if they do understand it they may ask questions to learn more about a certain topic. When we were kids our teachers and parents always told us that there are no such things as stupid questions so we shouldn’t be afraid to ask. Although I tend to disagree with that statement, now that I am older and have asked my fair share of questions I can assure you that there are things such as stupid questions.

The first time I ever was truly embarrassed about asking something was something that I asked one of my best friends. It all happened about two years ago sophomore year. My best friend Maya and I were extremely close friends that knew everything about each other and we would constantly talk on the phone or in classes at school but it never went any farther than that. The one thing that she didn’t know is that I actually had a huge crush on her which was something I had always wanted to tell her. Although I was afraid that it would ruin our friendship which is something I truly cherished. You see this type of friendship was something that I had never experienced before, it was judgement free and we always had a great time together, there wasn’t anything that I didn’t tell her. This was a huge reason that I was afraid to mess it all up by expressing my feelings of affection towards her. Another reason to add to that fear was that she was and is still way out of my league in my opinion. Some nights on face time I would say things that hinted at how I felt about her so that I could see how she handled it and judge if I wanted to actually come out and tell her.

One day I was tired of waiting and holding my important feelings in the dark, I decided that it was time to tell her. I felt that we had gotten close enough and I had thought that the signs she was giving off mean’t that she felt the same way towards me. I went home that night and got on my pc, all throughout my time playing games I could only think about how badly I wanted to ask her out on a date. I decided to bring it up to my friend Brady to see what he thought I should do. Brady thought that I should go for it and for the next hour he was pumping me up while we were playing some different games, finally I caved and decided to go for it. I told Brady that I would be right back and that I was about to shoot my shot with Maya for the first time. He wished me good luck and I proceeded to face time her. She answered almost immediately which got my hopes up even more. She seemed busy with other tasks when I called her so I was trying to wait for the perfect time to ask so I just made small talk till I saw the right moment to go for it. Finally I found the right moment. I took a deep breath and then I expressed how I was feeling about her and ended by asking if she would like to go out on a date with me when she was available at some point.

I saw her facial expression change to extremely surprised and there was a long pause where it looked like she was trying to find the right words for what she was about to say. My heart started to sink as I saw what was happening and I was beginning to feel like I was making a mistake. Maya then responded with ” Alex I am so sorry and I apologize if I have given you that impression. I cherish this friendship too much to change what we have in a way like that, I see you as more of a brother to me” . As I heard what was coming out of her mouth I thought to myself, how could I be so stupid in asking a question like that. I can’t believe I thought that she would have the same feelings as I did. I was extremely embarrassed and angry at myself for asking the question that I had. All the symbols I saw wasn’t her trying to flirt with me, she was just being a generally good friend and I was too blinded by my own feeling of affection towards her to see that. I was mostly worried that by asking what I did I had ruined our friendship that had meant so much to the both of us. It did not end up ruining our friendship and we continued our normal ways and forgot I had ever asked.

Fast forward one year after this and we are both juniors now, we both also had just gotten out of relationships and had reconnected so that we could rekindle our friendship to what it used to be. Although before either of us even realized it we weren’t re kindling our friendship but instead we had started to create something even more amazing in the process. We created a new relationship that was much more than I ever thought I would have with her. and I continued to fall more in love with her every day. Now almost a year later we are seniors and still dating as well as connected by the same amazing friendship from what feels like so long ago. So in the process my dumb question that I was so afraid of asking led me to something much more amazing than I thought possible.