Gone But Never Forgotten
March 22, 2020 Uncategorized 4 comments kstilkey20
Football is something that has been a big part of my life for many years. Throughout the years I have made many bonds with other players, some that have come to be my best friends today. But one thing I did not know is that entering high school football I would meet a man that I could call one of my greatest inspirations. Throughout my four years of high school football this man had taught me many things directly and indirectly through his actions. Not only was he my coach but someone I could always count on. At times in practice he was not my favorite person in the world as we pushed the sled up and down the field, but at the end of the day everything he did was to make us better and show us our true potential. As I finished my high school career I was sad to see it go and how fast it truly went by. Even though it was over I knew that no matter what he would be there if I ever needed anything. We had talked in the following months about where I would be attending college. As basketball started I would not see him as much because he would be in the weight room with the younger kids while I had practice. Then one day at the beginning of school I got the news from other coaches he had passed away. At first I was in shock not knowing what to do with myself all I could do was cry. The feeling that this unexpected news gave me was one that I had felt one other time in my life and it hurt, I did not only lose a coach I lost a mentor and my greatest inspiration. He did not only impact my life; he impacted the community and the people in it. He was more than football; he was someone that would give you the shirt off his back, he was a caring man. I will forever miss him and his presence in my life. There are many stories and movies I could relate it too but there is one certain movie that popped in to my head right away.
That first movie that I thought of when talking about this situation was Marley and Me. This is a movie about a newlywed couple that moves to Florida and buys their first home. They also both got new jobs and instead of diving right into parenthood they adopt a golden lab and name it Marley. As Marley is growing up they have got their hands full with a mischievous dog that at times they are not happy with at all and at times think they got their hands to full. As time went on Marley grew on them. With the family growing they needed to move and with them taking new jobs and having kids they did not pay as much attention to Marley as they used too. The stress of raising two small children has brought tension within the couple and they contemplate getting rid of Marley but they quickly realize he is a big part of the family. Then an unexpected tragedy comes upon Marley and he comes down with a near fatal disorder which he can not recover from and he has a second occurrence and passes away. They say their goodbyes and they are heart broken as they say goodbye to a big part of their lives someone who was always there for them and even at times when he was a pain in the ass they still loved him.
I compare this movie to my situation because of the unexpected tragedies of death but also the way the individuals impacted people in many ways. The way my coach impacted me and many others is similar to the way Marley impacts the couple and their family. He gave them someone they could always depend on to be there in good and bad times similar to what coach would do for me and many others. Another way they are similar is even when you are angry with them for whatever reason in the end of it all you still care and like them as much as you did before. But then in the end when you are too busy and don’t have time to talk or pay as much attention to them they are gone just like that. In the end of it all my unexpected situation sparked a feeling in me that I truly never would want anyone to experience something like the death of someone close to you. As in Marley and Me even though it was just a dog this sparked that emotion within them they lost someone that was near and dear to them. In a way the unexpected tragedies are worse than the ones you expect because you have no time to say goodbye one day you just wake up poof they are gone with no warning
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4 Comments
I am very connected to this post and it hits very deep, the way you explained your feelings about the tragedy really brought back strong feelings of my past. I remember reacting to coaches death, I was no longer part of the team and did not get the chance to hear it like you guys did. I went into a depression for a little while after that, I am lucky to have the people I do surround me and keep my head pointed in the right direction. Coach taught me a lot, more than I can even explain, he taught me how to be man and how to be mature like one, he taught me if I wanted anything in life I was going to have to work my ass off just as I did pushing that damn sled back and forth. This was very well written and I have a deep respect for any of the players I met or played with over my short career in highschool. Those few years I will remember for the rest of my life making some of the biggest memories I have like being able to start in a game for my first time. It don’t regret any of it because the last thing coach taught me was the ability to walk away from a situation to improve my life, without coach I would have never had the balls to go up to him personally and quiet, me and coach had our issues about me starting full time, and I realize I can’t change that but I have to thank him for putting me in my spot and telling me “Riley if you are going to quiet then you better make something out of that mind of yours” and till this day I am living to that, I will make soemthing out of my smarts coach and I will always love you for pushing me to do it. Rest in peace to one of the greatest men this world will ever have, great story kyle and thank you for this.
Death can definitely be unexpected, especially when you were close with that person and you spent nearly everyday with them. Just recently, like last summer or July, my grandmother died of Dementia. I had never seen anything like this in my life. I never knew that Dementia could affect someone this horrible and the things that it does to you is unbelievable. Her dementia kept getting worse and worse, they saw many many different doctors and they even tried clinical trials. But, I never thought that it would be so soon. One morning I woke up but I heard no noise in the house or anything. My sister wasn’t in her bed, my parents weren’t and neither was my stepbrother. I get a text from my stepbrother saying, “Ma passed, we are all at Papas saying our goodbyes.” I literally did not think it would be so soon. My papa didn’t want her passing at a hospital so he let her pass at her home. It was probably one of the hardest things I have ever seen and still to this day, its hard and creeps me out to walk inside my Papas house. Death can be so so so unexpected so spend as much time as you can with your loved ones. I can’t imagine how you felt, or even worse how your whole teem felt. I don’t even know if I would be able to play football again because it would just remind me too much of the coach.
I’m so sorry for the loss of your coach. This piece is well written and heartfelt, a tear-jerker especially since I know what a great man he was and what an impact he had on our community and athletes. Marley and me is a wonderful movie, one I can never watch again as it’s too emotional, and is a good comparison for the feelings of sudden loss and tragedy. Thank you for writing this, and I hope you are well.
I’m sorry for your loss, and I wish this didn’t have to happen because a coach like that was a one in a million. He knew everything about the sport of football and cared a lot about everyone on the team. Keep your head up though big man, I am sure you made him proud.