Alarm Clock Bruises

My mother hates anything scaly, so when my brother bet me $100 he could get a chameleon and keep it I obviously took the bet. I mean this is the woman that screamed when my grandfather told a story about this snake he killed. The woman that bruised her butt because she saw a baby garter snake in a tank in my brother’s closet. I found her standing on the kitchen table screaming snake, she then proceeded to unwrap the alarm clock cord from her leg. See she tripped over it running out of the closet, and when she was running up the stairs it wrapped around her leg as it hit her in the butt. It left a bruise for 3 weeks.

My mom had told my brother the last time she made him let his snake go that if he got another one he’d be doing the same thing, but I guess somehow a chameleon is okay. I told my brother I would bring him to the pet store. That’s how sure I was that I was going to win. We pick out which one he wants, and start deciding what to put in the tank. We already had one of those from the numerous snakes/ lizards he had tried to bring home throughout the years. Even though chameleons are tropical he wanted to do a Maine woods tank, so he grabbed some mulch stuff for the bottom of the tank, and a couple vines for him to crawl on. He spent $500 on stuff for his chameleon, we brought it home, got the tank all set up, and went outside to get sticks and logs for him to climb. Even though I’m betting on him having to bring it back, I have to admit this tank looks cool. So there we sat waiting for mom to come in and see it. After a couple hours of us playing with it, and me acting out different reactions she could have, I’m tired and we got bored of waiting for her. We decided to walk into her room with it crawling on my brother and we just started talking to her. We ask her what she’s up to, you know just casual conversation, nothing weird here just a casual chameleon crawling on him. She’s just doing sudoku puzzles watching tv, so we sit on the bed and keep talking, well… FIFTEEN MINUTES! IT TOOK HER FIFTEEN MINUTES TO EVEN NOTICE HE HAD A CHAMELEON CRAWLING ON HIM! AND WHAT DID SHE SAY? “OH COOL WHERE DID YOU GET HIM”. So I’m like livid at this point, I wanted to get a ferret but she said no multiple times because, “it’s like a snake with fur and feet”, but he can come in here with a freaking chameleon and it’s totally “cool”. Okay.

His mane is Rango and he has been here for 6 months. Mom likes to show him off even though she’s totally terrified of it and wont go anywhere near it. My brother is thinking about getting Rango a friend. I also lost $120 because I said yes to the bet and I drove him, so that’s cool too. They built a Rangos tank into the wall in his bedroom too, so he’s staying. I was so sure he wasn’t going to get to keep it. He had asked so many times before then and gotten no for an answer every time. But suddenly it’s okay when it’s already in your house I guess. So now that I know that I guess I just have to buy a ferret and use the chameleon as leverage, I mean it worked with my ducks. #Prayformyferret

Photo on Foter.com