Do it Because You Want to

I have never been a good public speaker. Every time I am required to do a presentation for anything, even if it is super easy or something I enjoy, I get really nervous, my voice starts shaking and it sounds like I am about to break down in tears. I think my problem is that I forget to breathe, honestly. I just want to get it done and over with, so I talk as fast as I can and just don’t breathe at all. Are you picturing what I just said there? Because if you are, you are seeing my sophomore speech. Anyway, the reason why this happens, why I get so nervous and forget to breathe, is because I feel so pressured to get it done right, flawless, without a problem in sight.  This presenting issue has been a problem for me since school forced us to do it for projects, thinking they would make us become used to it (clearly that didn’t work for me). But this other problem, the one where I constantly feel pressured, even when doing the simplest tasks, and I can never be happy unless it is done right. That I have been dealing with my whole life. 

I learned something from my mom a few years back, that when I was younger, even before grade school, I had this really bad perfectionist issue. No matter what I was doing, the end result had to be perfect or else I got really mad at myself and/or started crying. Now, trying to think back to that I can picture it, but I can’t actually remember being that bad. I can say that even though I was kind of shocked to hear this, it ended up making some sense as to why I am the way I am today. Now before you go off thinking, I am not by any means saying that I am some crazy, neurotic freak who cries every time I don’t cross my t’s the right way or forget to put that little dot above my i’s. I will say though, especially when it comes to sports, that I can be very hard on myself if I am not meeting my own expectations or I don’t think I am meeting the expectations of others. But that is where I am wrong, because I should not be living my life always trying to meet the expectations that I think other people have for me. I shouldn’t spend every waking moment wondering what I should be doing better, or what I should fix about myself to make this person happy, or wonder if these people that I’m not even close with, like me or not. And neither should you. 

As the very popular 2010’s phrase says, you only live once. Each of you have been given this amazing thing called life, and you can choose the way to live it. Now, I understand that it may be hard to choose how it goes as a kid, seeing how we are dependents, but guess what. Now is our time. It is time for each and every one of you to become the strong, independent adults that you can be. Now is the time to make mistakes, change majors, learn from the paths you have traveled down, and my god be free of all of the exasperating membean. You now have the ability to be on your own and learn how to be independent, always knowing you have your family, friends, or this community to come back to in times of need. This is the time to realize you don’t have to spend the rest of your life trying to impress other people, or go above and beyond to make everyone you love proud. Because you may not know it yet, but they are already proud of you. 

If you think for one second that you are not good enough, then you’re wrong. If you think that you are letting everyone down, think again. No matter what you choose to do or be in life, make sure it is what you want and not what you think or know that it’s what others want. Be proud of the decisions you make, and be confident with them. Join the club or group you want to be in even if they think it’s lame. Be the doctor that she said you could never be if it is your dream. Get the nose ring that he told not to get because he doesn’t like them. For everything that you do for yourself in life, do it because you want to. 

Trying to constantly be living up to everyone else’s expectations is just tiring. It is okay to do nice things for other people in your life, but when it comes to your own decisions like eating a salad or some greasy chicken nuggets, just eat the friggin nuggets because you know you want them more than anything. And if someone gives you crap for it, then tell them it’s your body and you’ll eat a thousand nuggets if you want to. 

So class of 2020, as I have said, this is your time now. It’s time to go out and become who you want to be. Get the education, get the job, get your own place, do whatever you need to do to start your life. Because remember, you only live once. So live for yourself, and be who you want to be. Thank you. 

Image by foter.com