Roller Coaster of Emotions

You never know when you’re going to lose something. Whether that thing be important to you or not, you just never know when it will be lost. You never know when something will change, whether it be big change or small change. Everyday, anything unexpected can happen that can make an impact on the rest of your life, you just never know when it will occur.

Life happens so quickly. One second it’s your first day of kindergarten, making friends and having fun, the next you’re writing a million blog posts with those friends for your senior year of high school. Growing up, people made high school sound like this great place where there’s more freedom to do whatever you want and the work is easy, but it isn’t as easy as it sounds. On top of all of the work you have to do, there are still social matters that you have to deal with. High school is really just a roller coaster of emotions, where you reach your high points where it’s the best time of your life, and your low points where you just want to give up.

With the slow incline in the beginning of my high school career, I was getting used to it, the bigger workload, the better sports, I go on my first out of country vacation. It’s going up, clink clink clink..clink……clink………..clink, then the unexpected drop that makes my stomach feel completely inside out. The cart falls to the bottom of the tracks, and sadness fills my heart. So many changes start to happen, the house has one less person in it, making my family no longer one, but two sides.

It wasn’t for long that my house was with one less person though, because soon enough we figured out some more heart aching news. The roller coaster remained low and steady as my Pepere who was diagnosed with Alzheimers moved in a short time after. So much responsibility for just two people in a not very spacious house to take care of, especially one who wasn’t even an adult yet. There I was, trying to make the best of the situation, and trying to just enjoy my time in high school, which is said to be some of the best times to look back on in your life. We’ll see I guess.

It is a good thing I have such a caring group of people that have my back not only family, but so many friends who care, family of friends, teachers at school, all of them have my back always.

Moving forward in the cart, it is a slow and steady, bumpy track. I get through things I need to get through, relationships with friends and family, all that stuff. Pepere moves to a home for 24 hour care, and stress fills the air. Senior year finally comes, and what a rough time it is. The start was great, I’m in the best relationship of my life that will truly be forever. No one has ever cared for me the way he does. I have one last year to make the greatest memories with my friends until we all part ways for college. I had my last soccer year in high school where a college coach found interest in me. I FINALLY figured out what I am going to do with my life as an adult, chose my school, committed, and all was well.

Then it happened…the roller coaster which had been at it’s slow incline dropped all the way to the bottom. So unexpected to all, and way too soon. We lost a community member, a coach, an idol, a friend, family. I had just seen him a few weeks prior, asking me how I’ve been as always, asked how my grandfather was doing and ended the conversation, of course, by saying, “say hi to your parents for me”. It still to this day doesn’t feel real, and if I were practicing softball in the gym right now I would be expecting him to walk in that back door any minute. The amount of hearts he truly touched and lives he impacted is truly amazing, and he will never be forgotten. His spirit will forever be left on that field, and every game will be played for him. Such an unexpected thing to wake up to hearing the morning of December 9th.

Times were rough and every one was figuring out how to move forward. Life took over and guided us through it. The cart moved forward, slow but not steady. As senioritis takes over the class of 2020 (which was expected I will have to admit), there are more things we are not ready for.

While we are trying to get through our last year, someone from another country decided they wanted to eat a bat and well, Coronavirus. Yup, everywhere.

Senior year gets confusing as the cart takes an unexpected turn, leading to our slow decline. Softball along with the rest of the spring sports gets postponed, School gets cancelled for two weeks, then for a month, leading to online classes. None of us know what hell we are going to do. Our last spring fling? Cancelled. Spring sports? “Postponed”. Our last Prom? We’ll find a way. Graduation? I mean at this point who the hell knows.

So now we sit at home, doing whatever we can to pass, as I finish this blog post that was due about a month ago I’d say (so sorry by the way).

Will I be able to have my last softball season? Probably not, but I will do anything I can to make it happen. For the rest of you seniors (and any one else struggling), I am truly sorry for the crappy end to our senior year that I am seeing right now because I know I am having a hard time with it too. I hope my roller coaster starts going up soon, as well as yours.

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