Shoot to Thrill

Disclaimer: The writer of this post is in no way a simp, Erotomanic, or diagnosed with Nice Guy Syndrome in any way. The content of this blog post what I believe to be an varied way that any young man my might use to connect with a female of any kind and therefor, I expect any peer reading this, to read it in no suspicious regard because I am completely accepting of the possibility that we may not be made for each other. Enjoy… I guess.

It was a normal Saturday afternoon in the Church parking lot. Our average Church service had ended sometime ago and the parking lot was almost vacant except for a couple of cars. The skies turned into a beautiful (at least beautiful in my eyes), shade of white and grey. I was waiting outside for my mother to finish treasury work for the Church in the Church office. I was loving it, looking up to the sky and seeing a thunderous stormy overcast, watching the clouds of white and many shades of grey mix, merge, and swirl in the sky almost as if Zeus and Demeter themselves were making their mark in the heavens, a sign of true love for me…always. As I was waiting she walked out, not my mother, but a girl, a good friend of mine I have known for quite a while. My birthday is before her, but for the majority of the time each year we are the same age and we will be graduating the same year as well. For the sake of privacy and respect I am from here on out going to be referring to her as “Rocket Queen”. While her father was speaking to some Church friends outside in the parking lot, she carried her father’s bag to his truck. I started to walk over to her and say hi, some small talk ensued, and I offered to carry the bag to the truck. As we walked, we chatted, a little more small talk ensued, and I put the bag on the back seat of the truck. Did I happen to mention at this time she was expressing her love for the current weather just as much as I was? Keep in mind, the Greek Mythology reference I made earlier. She entered the front right-side passenger seat and kept the door open. I opened my phone and went to my pictures, then I said to her “Hey, uh…Rocket Queen, you said you were into guns right?”

OK, Exposition Time! See now, a couple of weeks or maybe even months before the time of this story, I was eating lunch at the Church Potluck (that I helped prepare) and Rocket Queen decided to sit next to me, we began to talk and somehow the conversation led to firearms. I told her that I was a firearm owner, fanatic, and one could say maybe even expert myself. It turns out Rocket Queen has been interested in firearms for a while and gets to (every once and awhile), fire her family’s old antique guns when she can. Immediately, the moment that information hit my brain, my mouth curved and formed a Joker, Alastor, Great Gatsby looking smile as “Kickstart my Heart” started playing in my head and my heart started pumping to the beat. I could not believe it, all this time I just expected that she was just the quiet girl behind the piano during church service who led a quiet, boring life in and outside of Church. Now, she makes me wonder how many other vices she has behind that smiling good girl facade. After some talking, I asked her “If you could try out any firearm, what would it be?”, She responded; “a Sniper Rifle.”. It was at that moment, I knew, I had something to impress her. I told her I was a proud owner of six-teen firearms and that I have a good shooting pit I have tested each one of them at.

Fast forward to the more current story at her father’s truck in the Church parking lot and when I asked her; “Hey, uh…Rocket Queen, you said you were into guns right?”, I showed her the photo evidence; a picture of me posing with my scoped .22 caliber bolt action rifle, since she has always wanted to fire a sniper rifle. I then said onto her “You said that you always wanted to try a sniper rifle, right?”, of course, she was impressed and loved my militant attire for the photo. I then showed her some other pics of me holding pieces of my vast arsenal. Something tells me she has not had the opportunity to try out or even hold diverse or semi-automatic weaponry. This was my chance, I had a vast, diverse, and fun collection of firearms for her to try and the perfect location. So then I told her that any time, I could take her to the shooting pit, that I know and love in New Gloucester, any time she wanted to test one of these out. I would teach her how they work and everything. She responded “Yes.” in excitement, stating that she would love to do that sometime. Then her father showed up. He entered the driver’s seat of the truck and Rocket Queen began to tell him what I just said and the idea of going with me sometime. All was well and good until the father said he would love to go sometime. He even mentioned bringing another very interested friend or family member who would want to do this. In my head I am thinking “What? No, no, no, I imagined this as a Rocket Queen and I experience, you know, just the two of us, not your family reunion.”. In my head I was also thinking I had just become the antagonist of this story, I mean by now the event I had in mind, sounds less like Journey: “Don’t Stop Believin’ ” and more like Nickelback: “Animals” and yes I do analyze most events in my life with classic rock or heavy metal references. Of course I just nodded, told them they were welcome anytime, said my farewell, and walked back to my mother’s car.

In conclusion, I believe it is possible to expect the unexpected. Hear me out, I know that sounds idiotic and I swear I’m not on something (tho the Corona Quarantine has made me a little insane and I am sure, is slowly turning me into a Schizophrenic), but what if you should be expecting the unexpected. I mean of course you don’t see it coming if it ends up being unexpected, but what if it something that even your specific character should be expecting. I mean look at my story, what idiot honestly expects a religious father who is a constant Church goer to let her daughter go off with a teenager, one supervising parent of course, and an arsenal of different firearms and semi-automatic weapons. I really didn’t think this through, I mean I am going to have to meet and get to really know her father sooner or later and then he is going to find out how much of a (How do I put this?) “libertarian mind” I truly was. I mean, I don’t want to be known as the Hades that swept up Persephone. Uh, where should I start with the analogies? I felt like Hamlet being ultimately blocked by Polonius. I felt greatly like Raskolnikov from “Crime and Punishment” in his hesitant pursuit of Sonia, in the sense that it would not work out or be wholly unrealistic to be with such a devout spirit. Tho I am a Christian I would be considered to believe in god’s given freedoms a little more than the average Christian. But here is the thing, there is so much of the unexpected that can be expected. For instance, Rocket Queen could just be hiding more of that wild persona underneath that family friendly, perfect for YouTube’s content guidelines persona that we have all been led to believe (much like myself in Church). Maybe, leading the life of this perfect persona for the sake of her reputation in her own family and in public, she is probably looking for a break onto Mötley Crüe’s: “Wild Side”, to be truly free. I mean Rocket Queen did say she has been homeschooled for a while. Yet again, I could be wrong about all of this and guns could be her only vice. I do not truly know, the only thing I can do is to keep communication with her because with enough experience, we can and should be able to expect the unexpected!

Photo by Gregory Wild-Smith on Foter.com / CC BY-NC-ND