Anxiety

My little sister Punk has very high anxiety. Since I just moved back here I am not used to it, and don’t know
the best ways to deal with it. I am a person with some patience, but I can get annoyed very fast. Usually when
Punk is getting stressed out I will try to understand why so I can assess if I can make her feel better. Most
times I will distract her from what she is doing by making jokes because she will start laughing and for a
second it will make her feel better. There are sometimes it is just best for me to try and not pay attention to
her while she is having a meltdown. I remember there was this one time in our kitchen when our mom was
telling her “You can’t think about the big picture you have to break it down one at a time”, and after that she
started to calm down and only focus on one of her assignments rather than all of them.

One of her biggest stressors that can lead to a breakdown is her math homework. She is not the best at math
so whenever she does have math homework we all prepare ourselves for her to get stressed out, and for us to
have to calm her down. I fully understand why she gets stressed out about math because when I was in
seventh grade I would cry at the table every night because I didn’t understand it how to do my math. At least
for her our mom knows how to stay calm and help her through it. When she’s doing her math I’m trying not to
get annoyed because the way she reacts is way different than the ways I would. She will start having anxiety
tics and can start hyperventilating. The worst thing that can happen when she is stressed out is her hitting
her leg. She is very lucky our mom can stay calm and be patient with her because most people don’t know
how to deal with it and just yell. Our mom will try and keep a neutral tone, let her know she understands,
reassure her she is not alone, and they will tackle each problem one at a time. If I was our mom I would lose
my cool. I can keep calm and be patience in most situations, but when children are freaking out that is when
my patience isn’t the best. Sometimes I get really frustrated, and I say things like “Punk stop doing that right
now or I’m gonna punch you in the face”. I don’t think I actually meant it, but she was really getting on my
nerves.

When she’s doing math she can become very unpleasant to be around, so me not saying something or
making faces is usually my best bet of her not taking out her stress and anger on me. There was one time I
said something rude while she was stressed out and she threw something at me. What makes me have to
have the most patience is when my mom is trying to help her and she just starts being rude because my mom
is just trying to help. Once my sister starts back talking is when my mom usually struggles with being patient
and most times will send her to her room so she will calm down. At that point I have to really not say
anything because if I do it most likely will not be nice. I don’t understand how my mom has patience to deal
with her trying to do math homework every night.

Dealing with people who have high anxiety is not easy for anyone. Keeping calm and talking through it is
your best bet. If you were yell or get mad it makes them get more stressed out and they are most likely going
to have a full on break down or they can become physically aggressive. With my sister she will sometimes
start hitting her leg very hard so not freaking out at her makes her less stressed and less likely to start hitting
herself. I know that if I had a kid with high anxiety, I would struggle with it because crying and screaming kids
is not the easiest thing to deal with.

“maths” by Sean MacEntee is licensed under CC BY 2.0