Travel Soccer

I have been playing soccer since second grade and never really felt too out of place in my small town. Playing all through elementary school all the way to high school. My freshman year I made the swing team playing both varsity soccer and junior varsity. Coming from middle school, then playing varsity soccer is a huge step, a huge change of pace and overall much more competitive. I thought this was the moment I stuck out like a sore thumb, I did not feel up to the varsity standard. I felt as if I was unable to do as much as the older girls, but I was only a freshman, so I had time to learn.

Coming into sophomore year, I felt as if I was still on the outside. I was not very good at scoring or setting people up. I was just there; taking up field space. Contrary to freshman year, I had a few goals under my belt, but definitely not to brag about. I kept working on my soccer game because I knew junior year I was going to have to step up and be the leading goal scorer.

I was right, junior year came and the team was now dependent on me. They did not have any other forward that they could count on. I would make goals now and again, but they were out of pure speed and even luck. All I needed to do was outrun the defense and I got the goal, but this seemed cheap, almost as if there was no skill in the way I had been playing. I was mutual, right in the middle in my soccer skills; I would not say good, but I would not say bad either.

Late junior year the goalie to my school team had asked if I would play travel soccer with her. Immediately, I was thinking, No, it is way too expensive for me to get embarrassed by girls that are so much better than me. However, my dad thought it would be a good opportunity to play with my goalie and freshen up my soccer skills. I thought if I was with the goalie then why not, at least I would have fun hanging out with her.

That did not age well, I was abruptly taken out of my goalie’s team for being over the age limit, and I was put in a team full of seniors. At first glance these girls were mighty, big muscles, big talk, and a strong passion for the game. These girls were confident in their soccer skills and they should have been. Some of these girls were going to D1 school on full scholarships. I was starstruck to say the least. I had come from a little town in the sticks and these girls were coming from the big schools where it was actually hard to make a varsity team.

This is where I had stuck out like a sore thumb, my freshman year was nothing compared to how belittled I had felt on this travel team in just the first day.

It did not help that I had absolutely no friends on the team; I was a loner. Upon that, I felt like every single time I was passed the ball I would fumble and trip over my own feet. I was so humbled, these girls seemed perfect. Every move they made on the field proved to me that I was not good enough to be in the same vicinity as these girls. I felt as if I was out of place and taking up their space on the field. It did not feel right to be there.

After the first practice it was not my intention to keep going back. I started to skip each practice and each game. I always had excuses as to why I could not make it that day. Every once in a full moon I would reappear in the soccer dome, but each time I was reminded as to why I did not want to be there.

It was almost painful to me, to see these girls be able to run circles around me while I just stood there dumbfounded.

The worst was when I would get partnered up with a potential D1 player and watch her roll her eyes at me when I proceeded to mess up. This was not my cup of tea, I was good back in my hometown and even in my soccer conference, but this was just downright embarrassing.

Skipping practice became such a routine that my coach noticed I have not been going for a while. I remember the moment he came up to me and asked why I was never there. I came up with another excuse about how I am always scheduled to work on the days we have practice and that I am always exhausted after track. He had told me that he wished I would come to more of the games and practices because he had seen the potential in me. I did not believe that it would make a difference if I was there or not, but it got my brain turning. Even though I felt super out of place my parents had still spent over a thousand dollars for me to be there, and I was just letting it wither away like it was nothing.

From that point on I had gotten rid of my excuses and made soccer a priority. The more I had shown up to practice the more the big muscle girls had warmed up to me.

I had started to feel more calm about my place on the team.

I knew I was not as good, but they were not as scary as I thought. Becoming friends with these girls had made me want to go to practice; even if I was not as good as them, I was able to work with them and see what they are doing so well that I could start initiating on the field as well. Of course, the outsider effect did not go away as I had always felt different from them, but I was able to get over some of the big rocks that would block me from even going to practice.

When the season was over, and I went back to my school team my game play had immensely stepped up.

I was not the outrun and score by luck type of girl anymore; I was able to make my own plays and create my own and other people’s scoring opportunities.

I was getting noticed by other teams and colleges, which made me feel like a travel soccer girl. I felt good, unlike before I was confident about my skill and I felt like a huge part on my small school team.

Even though I was finally feeling good in how I was playing, I will never forget the way I had felt so out of place at travel soccer. That experience in travel soccer had made me appreciate the freshmen who had shown up to soccer on the first day. They were looking at me the same way I was looking at those girls at travel soccer, like I will never be enough for this team. I did not want them to feel that way, I wanted them to feel like they mattered, and that they had a reason to be on our team. I knew that if they were consistent with practices they would be able to get over that overall feeling of sticking out and realize that we can all play well together. I think I did a good job at making the freshman feel like they belonged on the team because they persistently showed up and they were crucial to our winning season. I had felt brutally out of place on my travel soccer team, but it opened my eyes to how to be a good captain.

“Ajax vs San Francisco, girls traveling soccer. Great game!!” by Motioner’s is licensed under