How Do You Eat Like That?

It’s a common occurrence around the world for brothers to sometimes butt heads. My older brother Jack and I are not foreign to this issue. I’d say we are the epitome of “brotherly love.” Even if we are in a good mood and are able to tolerate each other, it’s often in the form of play fighting and wrestling. Our parents often struggle to differentiate between us when we are angry with each other or not, usually detectable by the intensity of our altercations. Typically, lighter “fights” occur when my brother and I are messing around, and harder “fights” are typically when we are upset or angry at one another, similar to most brotherhoods. While one is more common than the other, there are a few times when we have a lot of fun. Usually when eating.

Jack and I get food pretty often. Mostly for lunch, but dinner happens sometimes, too. We are alike when it comes to the impact food has on us. Good food can fix any mood. Our favorite “inside joke” happens when we eat. Jack will eat across from me at the dinner table and get my attention by clearing his throat or some other way. I will look up and he will be eating normally, until all of the sudden he widens his gape to its maximum ability, rolls his eyes in the back of his head or to the side, and take a really exaggerated bite. When he opens his mouth wide he makes a verbal click with his tongue and lips as they separate. That noise combined with his gape and bite is the funniest thing in the world to me and I have no idea why. Our parents haven’t caught on, so he will do it unexpectedly at the dinner table or when we are eating in my car. It is so hilarious. Food happens to be our “healing point” it always repairs any argument or disagreement we had that day, minor or not. Whether it really solves the issue or just helps us forget about it, we don’t care. The focus is just on the food, and then onto something else, it may not seem healthy, but it’s worked for us for years. Another instance would be when we ordered Applebee’s to go. It came with packets of ketchup for his order of fries. Our parents weren’t home, naturally, he was feeling devious. Requesting that I take and toss the ketchup packet in the air because it wanted to try to impale and hold the packet on the tip of the knife. That was too hard, this spiked a turn in ideas. He then wanted to slice it like a samurai. The assumption that he would cut it in half and it would make a small pool on the floor was far from the real possibility and outcome.

After multiple attempts using the provided plastic knife, he quickly switched to a chopstick we had lying around. This didn’t work either. Trial and error continued for another 5 minutes, he would either miss it completely, or I would make a bad toss, or the strike wouldn’t do anything to the packet. After this failure, he brought out the steak knife. On just the second attempt he was successful… Too successful. The packet not only split but exploded. Like a dying star, the ketchup flew out in a ring all around the room. Hitting the table, the counter, our drinks, sweatshirts, the chair, the curtains, the walls, and the sliding glass door. We exploded in laughter! We were happy to clean up as we knew what we were doing would likely end badly, but it was so funny. Jack continued to make the wide mouth face that he makes while cleaning, making my stomach cramp. I couldn’t even catch my breath. Collapsed on the floor I looked at the mess and watched him clean, it was the funniest experience I had in a while, and to this day we still recount that night.

It was good food and good fun. You can’t go wrong with no parents, the money they gave you for food, takeout, and a Friday night. The one time my brother and I can guarantee a good laugh and some peace between us is over food.

“Ketchup” by Automania is licensed under CC BY-NC-ND 2.0.