A Coming Out: MGallagher Style

I am a transgender male and if that wasn’t enough for today’s society, I’m also bisexual and polyamorous. When you grow up in a society that has always been so bent on being one way, then it starts changing. It’s hard to be different. I have felt alone and different in a very big way for a lot of my life. It’s weird to say sometimes because a lot of people know me, and, I even used to be considered popular. I do theater, I sing, and I’ve recently done poetry. I even used to play sports. But being different makes it harder for people to see you as a person. I am a transgender male. I am also bisexual and polyamorous. I remember a time I felt different. It was the first time I felt different. I was in seventh grade and I notice how other people acted and I realized what set me apart from them. I talked to one of my friends about how I didn’t feel comfortable in my body.

They said, “Oh… maybe it’s just because you’re big!” And yes, I am bigger than most kids, but I knew that wasn’t it. I didn’t feel comfortable with my gender, I was uncomfortable with how my body was changing. My brain felt weird and I knew something was wrong. I knew, most kids didn’t feel this way. I didn’t want to be the girl that society was forcing me to be. I said “No, I don’t feel different because of my body. I feel different because of my brain.” She started treating me a little differently. I told her I liked the name Link and Mason and those names felt like they were closer to me. I don’t think she wanted to admit that she was unaccepting, but I understood why she was. It’s strange to get used to these things. Especially when you’re twelve years old. It’s too much to think about when you’d rather think about who you’re gonna play with at recess. But it made me feel alone. Because I was different.

I started to realize how some of my friends were treating me after she told them. Without my permission. They claimed they didn’t care, but they didn’t bring it up either. They didn’t want to talk about it. They didn’t want to understand it. They didn’t want to learn. So if we didn’t talk about it, it didn’t create problems. But I still got sideways glances from them. That put me apart from others. I noticed all this when I was 12 years old, experiencing all these sideways glances, and I’d go home and my mother would say “You’re just confused, it’s just puberty.” But even she knew it wasn’t just puberty. Normal people don’t have that mindset when they go through puberty. I observed and watched as all of this happened around me, their distance growing more and it’s because they didn’t know how to handle change. They didn’t know what transgender is. I didn’t even know what transgender is. I just knew I was different. I knew I wasn’t Courtney. Hearing the name now reminds me of when I had to stand alone. Like I’m back in seventh grade again.

But then I got to high school. I knew I didn’t have to stand alone. I could be who I wanted to be. It was rough at first. I was still in denial. Middle School made it harder to understand that I was a boy. But at the end of my sophomore year, after all the COVID nonsense was dying down, I knew who I was and I became MGallagher. I shed that layer of ‘girl’ and left it behind with all the people who let me stand alone. I was different. In a really big way from the kids around me. I watched them around me, set me apart and I let that happen. But now? I don’t have to. I don’t have to be alone. It made me become who I knew I needed to be. I am MGallagher. And as society grows, I grow. They are learning that I am MGallagher. Sure, not everyone will agree. But I don’t need them to. Because at the end of the day, I know who I am, and I have people who have my back one-hundred and ten percent of the way

“All alone am I, all I can do is cry..” by CBGB_Hoser is licensed under CC BY-ND 2.0.