Growing up

When you grew up did you ever feel out of place? Since I was little I had always felt out of place. When I was growing up I was always surrounded by people either older or younger than me. I never grew up with people my age to be around, which had always had me feeling left out or out of place. While I was at my cottage, I was surrounded by people always older than me, which meant when all of them got into high school I was still in middle school. I had always been the youngest out of a group of girls who were all the same age and older than me, which caused be to be left alone most of the time. As we got older, I got left out more and more because of my age, I didn’t understand why at the time that they didn’t want me around. I ended up always being alone while I was down there because of my age, I would go find things to do by myself while I watched all of my friends go places together and all hangout while I was always alone.

Soon, I learned that being alone was okay and that I didn’t need to be around people to be happy. I would find things to do by myself and would go and talk to the adults, sometimes it would hurt seeing everyone I grew up with leave me out but as I got older I understood. I watched everyone I grew up with go off and do things and soon realized that I didn’t want to grow up. They would make decisions that would get them in trouble and wear things that all the adults disapproved of and would talk about. I learned that when I got older I didn’t want to follow in the same footsteps that they were walking in, I didn’t want all the adults to look at me and disprove of what I was wearing. I used to want to just fit in with everyone and soon realized that sometimes it isn’t the best thing to do. As I grew up I watched their actions and learned from the things that they did to know what not to do when I was older. Being alone I found ways to understand what to do when I was alone in the future. I learned that being alone can be more helpful to you than being surrounded by a group of people who may not care as much about you as you will.

Now that I’ve grown up I understand why they left me out and that I was just too young at the time to understand what I did wrong. Now I know that it was for the best that they left me out and now I’m glad that they did that. I learned that you don’t need people to be there with you to be happy, being alone can make you happy too. You just have to find the people who are there for you even if they aren’t actually with you, you can be happy being alone and can find the peace in it as well. Growing up alone I knew how to keep myself busy even if there is no one around, I know what to do when I’m upset and I have no one there for me. Which is the most valuable thing that being alone taught me being alone on the rocks with no one around and just watching the waves crash on the rocks in front of you can be just as good as being surrounded by a group of people who are talking over you and don’t truly care about you or your feelings. Being alone watching the sunset over the water can be more helpful to your mental health than being surrounded by so many people that you feel more alone than when you are by yourself.

In conclusion, growing up being alone and left out helped me learn from mistakes they made and help me understand the importance of spending time by yourself and spending time with people who really care about you. Even now I would rather be alone at my cottage watching the sunset over the ocean than be in a group of people who don’t care about you or your wellbeing. Being alone can help you realize more than if you are surrounded by people who can’t understand how you’re feeling.

“Zanzibar sunset” by @Doug88888 is licensed under CC BY-NC-SA 2.0.