What to Do

What lesson have I taken away from my time in high school?; I’ve thought about this for some time, so I came up with the conclusion that I had nothing worth writing about. So I decided I would write about some basic lessons everyone should know that Oak Hill really brings out in its students… How to BS school work.

The school felt like a waste of time growing up. I’ve never really learned much from school after elementary; but at least all the years after were a little fun, maybe. At least I got the chance to meet a lot of great people… But as the days passed I realized I will miss no one here and hopefully, they don’t miss me; I say this because I am absolutely kidding. I wrote that to take up more space so I do not have to think as much while writing this assignment. What do we call that folks… BS……

Yes good question, What are the properties to bullshit an assignment? Well, first you need to know bullshitting can be classified in three levels. 

One, Why would you do that? You made it harder for yourself; This is the nonsense I most commonly use. This happens when you don’t pay attention to simple tasks. With this type, you will usually pass but you will look very stupid trying to figure out the simple task at hand. This is what you don’t want.

Two, That looks awful everyone is going to know; This is a wonderful kind of BS, because if you do pass the requirements you will feel very good about putting almost zero effort into the assignment. This type is usually about saving time and usually something you don’t know anything about.

Three, It’s perfect, don’t touch it. This is the best kind of bs, this one usually includes a deep message that means nothing to the writer but it can also be lying perfectly to make a wonderful misleading message that no one can find out. For example, William Shakespeare…

The three levels of BS can be seen in Science books, printed on the wall in the White House, and soon to be on a learning board for freshmen. 

But the second and final, most important thing to know is if you get caught, this is what you need to do. 

The first step is never to apologize, they gave you work that you felt was stupid and you shouldn’t have to do anything you don’t feel like doing.

The 2nd step is to never go back to the same school. Prepare to move far away quickly, because you don’t want to get work from that muppet of a person who caught you.

The next step and by far the most important, change your name… The last thing you want is any contact from your passed school. If you can change your face or start wearing a mask that helps too. 

The final and my favorite step is to continue bullshitting, if you fall down you must always get back up because you are not a quitter…

Words for BS that I could have used; bull, crap, bunk, guff, hogwash, and nonsense…

Why did I not use these words? If there is anything I learned in English this year, it is that all words have slightly different meanings, but I just felt that bullshit fit best for the message I intended to deliver. BSing work is an act of engaging in poor efforts in a workplace or school, with intentions of seeming productive, these tactics are used by many to create an illusion of hard work and are a great use of time. Writing this assignment I learned that anything is possible… and most importantly you can do anything, all you need is a little BS.

“Censored” by keyimages-photography is licensed under CC BY-SA 2.0.