Communication’s Unfair Advantage

Asking for help is something we do when we’re in trouble. It’s fairly simple to do and is fairly effective in every case it’s implemented. In my case, however, it’s something that I struggle with every single day and does to many others as well. For me, it’s when I need it most, even to the extent of my life being in possible danger. For further detail, I will explain my reasoning as to why I struggle with asking for help, to the beginning and end.

When I was in second grade, I was unable to understand simple concepts like multiplication. I was embarrassed by the thought of raising my hand up for the teacher during a test I could not fully understand, and it eroded my confidence. It felt terrible to be inadequate to be taught to, which did not help having a speech impediment as well hindering the explanatory process of what the issue is. I thought that I would be penalized for asking for help as if it was a weak and inappropriate thing to do. Being ashamed of not being able to explain why and not understanding it made it useless to even ask for help, it made things more complex and confusing than it should have been.

This continued through many years later until middle school, where I started asking for help but felt as if the teachers were not very helpful when I asked for help. It made me feel as if I was more incapable than I truly was, and felt like a void of the unknown engulfing me with anxiety as I tried to understand and get the project done. As the missing assignments piled up, it felt as if it was useless to ask for help. The major reasoning I thought was why would anyone want to help someone who’s caved in with too many assignments that they could not handle in a week. It made me feel more down and caused me to feel like an imbecile to even think that I am capable of learning something.

After middle school, I still have a hard time asking for help, but more or less feel restricted to do so when a teacher is helping another student or not me wanting to disturb others. So I often emailed teachers, went after school, and saw them through study hall to further buttress my understanding of an assignment that I do not fully understand. However, things changed when my district’s bus drivers were unavailable due to shortages. This made me want to give up going after school or even going to school because of how reliant I was upon the school’s transportation system, essentially hindering me. So one day I rode my bicycle to school and back, which was purely amazing until my sweater got caught in the wheel and flipped over onto the sidewalk, causing me to feel excruciating pain on my arm. The hot summer day didn’t help either, as it made me pant and feel tired as if I ran a marathon. I even did this in front of people that asked if I needed help after the event, which made me feel uncomfortable; I declined the offer. I then thought as I whimpered, being stared at by a bunch of bystanders knowing that something was indeed wrong with me. I then got the courage to tell the bystanders that I needed help to call an ambulance as I needed it. This event in my life made me feel weak, but it inspired me that people are capable of helping others when they need it most. It taught me that people can offer help in other ways that are crucial and urgent.

In conclusion, I believe that I am responsible for not asking for help. It affected every aspect and facade of my life, that the idea of inquiring help was weak and ineffective. This was ultimately wrong as I learned the hard way of asking for help. This was a flaw in my personality that has been innate, which now has changed to a thought in my new understanding of asking for help.

“unacceptance” by mikecohen1872 is licensed under CC BY 2.0