Knowledge is Impatience

Patience is understanding a situation and tolerating its existence. I never understood what patience was at the time, as I was impatient about my mother not seeing me. I think of it as a feeling of restriction, something that you need or want to happen, but are chronologically hindered; watching something knowing that it exists. I was patient once and I will be willing to express how I felt when I was patient but also why I was impatient.

I once was waiting to see my mother in my early adolescent years, as she was not present in my life. It felt like an ache, something empty inside as when I went to school they had a mother figure, something that I only had a fraction of when I only had a small memory of her in my earliest memories. So, as a boy who was eager and restless to see her, I would often call her to say hello and explain my day, which was a short relief. When that day came I felt happy and complete, like something that was missing turning whole into something new. It felt rewarding to see something I knew existed finally here at my sight.

The feeling was whole until she had to leave, which saddened me slightly, but she was clearly building into a bigger plan. So I waited, the feeling not as aggressive but slowly building like an hourglass making a mound of sand. The pit started to gape bigger like a sinkhole, but not wide enough to make me feel emotional as a year passed. My patience was growing thinner extremely fast, making me feel more emotional and not very understanding. But after once again seeing her by surprise, the pit filled and the sand from the hourglass reverted. Then the patience faded away as she told me that I was going to live with her instead, diverting my life to what it is now.

In conclusion, I believe that patience is something that starts off as something big, but dwindles as time passes. I think that now it’s a matter of hope that something happens or arrives, learning that it should not be a burden for something that is slightly not my responsibility. I often complained about my mother not being able to see me, which was a mistake as I never understood what patience was until I grew older and learned that it was something to be more tolerant and understanding about the situation I had no control in.

“Wall of Books” by benuski is licensed under CC BY-SA 2.0