“We’re Friends, Right?”

I have autism, a mental disability that makes it hard for me to connect with my peers, an obstacle in a social environment such as elementary school. No matter how hard I tried to mask it people could tell and until you can adapt and know the right things you are screwed.

The only way to survive is to observe and mimic, unfortunately for me, I was socially inept, not to mention homeless and moving every year causing a lack of community, I was all alone. This made me rely on the internet, turning me into ‘the weird kid’. I never bothered to make a good impression because any connections I would make would never last. I caused my own social isolation. I was teased a lot in middle school.

The joke is simple, A classmate whom I had never talked to asked “We are friends, right?” and the punch-line was how I responded. The first time this happened to me was in 5th grade so I muttered “Uhm, I guess so?” and they laughed. I moved in 6th grade and it happened again so I decided to joke along and say “best friends” accepting I was the butt of the joke. The third, another school, I said, “I have never spoken to you a day of my life” and they laughed. The fourth I just ignored them, and they still laughed.

It’s these subtle games that made me feel even more alone than I already did, and although I still feel that way, it’s not so bad. Accepting that I would never be a part of the majority helped me find minorities of people who also stood alone, but now we stand alone together.

“classroom 2nd fl” by cayoup is licensed under CC BY-NC-SA 2.0.