Child 4

I grew up as the youngest child of four, two brothers and a sister. My oldest brother Dan is 10 years older, Sam is 8 years older, and my sister Grace is 5 years older. Being the youngest has caused me to hear, “the youngest child has it so easy” countless times in my life. But that is the farthest from the truth for me. I went from a loud bustling household to one that’s almost silent by my eighth-grade year. I never realized how much I’d miss the chaos until it was gone, which has been one of the biggest mistakes I’ve made.

All of my favorite memories as a kid involve my older siblings. Whether it was running onto the sports fields for their senior games, or the castle of presents they made for me on Christmas morning each brought a smile to my face. While I’m not close in age with any of them our bonds are the closest of any I have.

I can remember each of my siblings’ graduations vividly. When I turned 8 my oldest brother graduated high school and moved out right away. I can remember vividly sitting in the Augusta Civic Center holding back tears as he handed me a red rose and gave me a giant hug. This moment marked the end of burnouts in parking lots and the movie nights at home with him and his now wife. Soon after his graduation, he moved out with his girlfriend and I was left living with two siblings instead of three.

I’m ten now, and my next brother is graduating. I sit at the Civic Center once again and my big brother approaches with a rose in his hand. As he walks away I see all the rides to school and ice fishing trips with his friends fade. This graduation hit my hard as Sam and I are super close. I spent most of my summers with him, and would third wheel all of his dates. Seeing him move out was a hurge change for me. Now it was It’s just me and my sister left. Only one graduation util i became the only child in the house., but only for three more years.

2020 rolls around but this graduation looks a little different. This time We’re at an airport sitting in my mom’s car waiting for my sister to cross the stage. I don’t get to hug my sister or receive a rose but my emotions stay the same. This moment meant no more barging into her room demanding a sleepover, or random shopping trips. As each of my siblings received their diplomas I was one more step closer to becoming an only child, grace was my last step. May of 2020 I was officially an only child, or so I felt like one.

In the span of 5 years, I watched each of my older siblings’ bedrooms become something new and everything I looked forward to was different. My birthdays became boring, Christmas morning felt lonely and I no longer had a big family dinner each night. I never realized how important these little moments would become to me as everything changed. I may have not had my own bedroom and I definitely had many arguments with my sister. But I miss it. If I could do it all again I would just live with them all again.

It’s been 4 years since my sister graduated and this spring I’ll be the one graduating. While I dearly wish to be my eight-year-old self again able to live with all her siblings, it’s simply impossible.

Now every few Sundays all my siblings come over for family dinner. It’s like nothing has changed. We all laugh and tease each other sometimes even argue a little. And these nights are those that make me happiest. While I didn’t know what I had till it was gone I’ve learned to appreciate the little moments more. Time living with your siblings is short but the bonds are forever.

featured image: “family jumps again” by Evil Erin is licensed under CC BY 2.0.