SOS

Resilience is a crucial part of being a human and going through life. No matter the person, everyone has gone through some type of setback, whether small or big, easily solved or not. In her article, “What is Resilience?”, Kendra Cherry lists seven key characteristics of resilience. Although they are all great characteristics to have, the most important characteristic to me personally is being able to ask for help.

Although people don’t typically expect this of me, I have gone through a lot in my home life. My mother and father were never married, and when I was three years old, they broke up. From that point on, they had shared custody of me, with my dad having physical custody, meaning that I lived with him. I would typically see my mom every other weekend.

Fast forward a few years, where I am about eight years old. I had gone through five years of shared custody between my parents. Then I just stopped seeing my mom. My dad told me that she wasn’t going to see me anymore because she was going through a hard time and didn’t want me around to see her like that. Since she and my dad had broken up, I can remember at least five boyfriends that she had, and there were probably more. She had gotten into drugs and wasn’t in a good situation financially, but I didn’t know that at the time. I felt abandoned, as any child would have felt.

It was really hard to cope with, so my dad brought me to a therapist, hoping that it would help if I could talk to someone about my mom. I went for a few months, and the therapist really did help. I learned how to cope with my situation by myself, and I started telling myself that I know that I am a great person going to great places, and if my mom doesn’t want to be a part of that, then that is her own loss, not mine. Because of this situation, I have grown up to be a very independent person that almost always solves problems on their own. A lot of times it becomes hard for me to ask for help because I feel like I will look stupid. But then I realize that asking for help will only make me look more eager to learn, and show that I’m not always able to handle things on my own.

Every now and again my dad and I talk about my mom and he asks me if I want to see her. She now has another child, my baby brother, whom I have never met and I don’t know that I will ever meet. Where I am at right now in my life, I am not really focused on my situation with my mom. I know that right now is the time to focus on my future and my academics. I think that someday I will try to see her again, even though I never know where she is living. It is important that I know that it is okay to ask for help, even if it may be a little embarrassing in the moment. Nobody is perfect, and you will not look weak for asking for help. Sometimes you can’t handle things on your own, and that is okay.