Letting him drive away

Have you ever made a really big mistake? Most of us have and here’s one of mine. I knew he was too drunk to drive and instead of stopping him from driving, I gave him the keys and watched him drive away. My best friend, whom I’ve grown up with for years.

He was at a party with a bunch of people after having a hard day and just wanted to unwind, so he had a drink. That one drink lead to another and another one after that until he was unaware of his actions and could barely hold a conversation. Later in the evening he told us he was headed home. I remember thinking ‘I should drive him home and make sure he gets there safely’ but it was only ten minutes away and I wasn’t ready to leave yet and after all what could possibly happen in the short distance he had to drive to get home? So I handed him his keys and told him to let me know when he made it home. Which is one of the most selfish decisions I could have made.

A half- hour went by without hearing anything from him and my anxiety started to raise so I drove to his house and found him not there. My heart started racing and my mind bounced from idea to idea of what could have happened to him. The palms of my hands started sweating and my whole body began to shake. I was so nervous, what had I let him do, would I be the reason something really bad happened? I pulled out my phone, dialed his number and it just rang with no answer, call after call. Finally he returned my call and I felt a relief seeing his name come across my phone, this was a good sign. I answered and heard “I drove to Poland to see a friend and I messed up, I need help” immediately I felt overwhelmed and my eyes began to tear up. We were both silent on the phone until I got the word “what” out. My fears had come true; he had gotten into an accident. He had drove straight into the woods and hit a tree.

His parents drove out to the accident where the police were already involved. I felt the need to apologize and so that’s what I did, over and over again. They told me it wasn’t my fault but in my gut I felt that it was, I was the one that had given him the keys and let him drive away.

I was so glad that he had been okay and he hadn’t hurt anybody else. But I will never forget that feeling of knowing that I made the mistake of letting him leave and will always hold the responsibility of his accident.