My Own Personal Lifeguard

     They say the first heartbreak is ALWAYS the hardest, and let me tell you; this holds true. Junior year on Valentine’s Day, my heart was truly distressed by a boy, for the first time in my 16 years in this wonderful thing we call life. Thankfully I had someone with whom I trusted that I could use as a shoulder to cry on. Now this year my shoulder to cry on was the one experiencing the same thing, and suddenly we found the roles reversed. This turning of events showed me that not only was I not the only one going through this cycle, but also that this one friend was there for me no matter the situation.

     My junior year was the hardest for me both mentally and physically. Coming off of a broken foot from the year before I found myself struggling on the court and to top things off, I ended my season with another thing broken; but this season it wasn’t a bone, but my heart. I remember piece by piece how my night went on the day of the break-up; basketball season was coming to a close and we were preparing to go to playoffs. My boyfriend of almost half a year, and I had been “arguing” previously. He was planning on going to boot camp and we were talking about and planing on what to do when he leaves; do we stay to together? Do we end things? Now, of course I cared so much about him and in that moment, yes, I loved him, but not being able to see him or talk to him for 5 months??  I remember walking into my house at 8 pm and seeing a single rose and three notes labeled “Noah”, “Tina” and “Sara” at first I thought “Awe, how sweet, he wrote me and others in my family notes.”. Thinking that through I realized that it was the complete opposite he wrote me a note breaking up with me, my mom a thank you note for letting him ‘”join the family for a little while'” and Noah a note for “being someone to hang out with when your sister wasn’t around”. I immediately dropped to the floor with a heavy heart and called my best friend for some encouraging words and found myself crying on the phone with her for 30 minutes asking what I did wrong and why he thought Valentine’s Day was the day to end it. All my friends could do was encourage me and tell me that I was special, I was someone that any boy would be more than lucky to have in their life. As much as I wanted to believe them I couldn’t see past the fact that he decided to break my heart into a million pieces on the one day of the year where you are supposed to celebrate love. After talking on the phone for what seemed like forever I hear a knock on the door and sure enough it’s my best friend showing up to take me out of the house to get my mind off things. At a time like this my best friend decided to take time out of her day to come and comfort me when I was down and just sit there and listen to everything I had to say; no judgement or words came out of her mouth she just sat and listened to me rambling on about everything. Sometimes we need people to just sit and listen to what we have to say and not talk or try to intervene.

     That is exactly what I did, I sat and listened to every word my friend had to say. I listened to her talk about how she thought she wasn’t enough, thought she was crazy, too much to handle and not enough for the boy she thought was going to sweep her off her feet. My friend believed that this was the one, that no one would ever compare to him; she might be right, but right now the timing was off. The day it happened, we spent 2 hours in her car talking, crying and screaming, but every word spoken was out of her mouth. From my experience, I knew that no one can truly understand exactly how you feel about any situation so in order to better understand I had to hear the situation and why she felt that way before I was to say anything. After she was done talking I took a deep breath and told her how much I loved her, explained to her that NOTHING she did was wrong and that no matter how confused she was with why he left her that she could do better. When I got done with the 2 hour long car talk, I stepped out of the car with mascara and a pool of tears on my left shoulder, but I knew I left a girl who would get through this and any obstacle big or small, with or out without a boy next to her. I know where she is coming from when she says she thinks she is not good enough for this boy, but to me all I see is beauty, love and care coming from her. To me, my friend is a blossoming flower and everything about her is all that I want to be and more; she is fun, outgoing, caring, and one hell of a best friend. Seeing her hurt makes me hurt because all I want is nothing but the best for her and the fact that, that boy could not see what he was missing makes me wonder what else he thinks he needs in a girl.

     When it comes to boys for some odd reason girls fall fast and have a very hard time getting back up, most women care too much for people and end up getting hurt. From this experience I know that the next time my heart gets broken I have a friend and shoulder to cry on when the going gets tough and that no boy will ever fill the space that I keep open for my friends. When the going gets tough and I don’t think I will ever come back up for air I know that I have a safety net and a lifeguard that will help me swim to the top and take a breath. The same thing goes to my friends when they need me I’m always there to help them find their way. A puddle full of tears on my shoulder is a very small price to pay to help heal a broken heart and I will do it every time if it means that my friend is slowly finding her way to the surface of the water.

Photo on Foter.com