Laughter is The Cure All Solution

I’m not a big dog person. I’ve always had a bias to cats and it’s a pretty strong bias. Now don’t get me wrong, I don’t absolutely hate dogs, I still love the creatures it’s just not the same relationship I have with cats, but that doesn’t mean I don’t have favorites. My family has known for a long time that my all time favorite dog breed is the German Shepard. I don’t know why exactly but something about them just draws me in. A few years ago my dad made my biggest wish come true, he bought a German Shepard for his house that I could call my own.

My dad had given me the news when I went over to his house during the weekend (as my parents are divorced e switched off weekends with each parent). I went with him to a small store in Lewiston where we were going to pick up a little puppy. He was wrapped up in a cute little blanket and he was super tiny. I felt my heart melt when I saw him and I was given the okay to hold him. He was warm in my arms and he stayed perfectly still, falling asleep almost instantly as I sat back in the car and we were off to Petco to buy a few last necessities. I held the dog the entire time, not letting him go until we got home. It was there that we decided to give him his name. From then on we called him Gage.

I always looked forward to weekends at my dads house after. I knew once I walked through the door Gage would come running over, tail wagging excitedly while he did his small puppy cry and jumped all over. As time went on he got bigger and bigger and what used to be jumps that only managed to reach my knee were jumps that could reach my face and arms, giving out slobbery kisses that I couldn’t fight off. Throughout the weekend Gage became my little (well big counting size) buddy. He followed me around the house, cuddled up with me on the couch when watching movies and curled up next to me on my bed when I decided to settle for the night, always allowing me to swing my arm around him and use him as a pillow. He was like a best friend and became a very important part of my life.

As time went on Gage jumped around the house. He had began life as my dads dog but my dad didn’t feel any type of relationship was forming between him and Gage and declared that the dog would be mine. I gladly took the offer though at the time I still couldn’t take the dog home with me at my mothers so he continued to stay with my father. My cousin was living with my dad around this time and she broke the news to me that my dad had given her Gage. I felt heartbroken. How could she just take him from me like this!?

I knew it wasn’t really her taking him, my dad had given him away but I couldn’t help but blame her even if I knew it wasn’t really her fault. Nothing seemed to change though. Gage was very much my dog still and we still did the same activities.

It was almost a year later when my dad gave me some news that devastated and crushed me. He told me that he and my cousin were moving into an apartment and we couldn’t keep Gage, we were going to have to get rid of him. I spent the entire day crying in my room, sitting on the bed and hugging the dog because I didn’t want to let him go and my time with him was limited. I had grown so attached to this dog, he was a part of me and now they had to get rid of him. I constantly blamed myself for not living on my own (though I couldn’t help it, I was only 16 at the time) and not being able to take him in.

My cousin found a farm in Auburn that was willing to buy Gage and we knew that a farm was the best place for his wild and energetic nature. We dropped him off that Sunday and I finally had to say my good byes. I remember it being heartbreaking and crying while he lapped up my tears which only made me laugh. We left before I got too attached and I never saw him again.

For the weeks that followed after I was left with what felt like an empty void in my chest, like a piece of me was missing and I knew it was because Gage was gone. I found ways to cope with this sadness. My phone was absolutely filled to the brim with pictures and videos I had captured in the time I had spent with him. I scrolled through each and every one, laughing and smiling as I got to relive his crazy antics. I did this for a long time, watching video after video so that I would laugh and the empty feeling would go away.

Laughter was how I coped with missing him. Remembering how much he made me laugh and smile was the best cure I could find. To this day I still have no idea how Gage is. For all I know something could have happened to him but my father lost contact with the people who bought him and I’ve only been left with my memories, but that’s okay for me. Even if I can only remember how much I laughed and cried during my time with him it’s still better than not remembering him at all.

Gage was my dog, he was my best friend and I lost him. All I have left is laughter and good times that bring him back into my life.

Photo by Author