She Thought I was a Boy

She thought I was a boy. I became friends with this person in the first grade. She was a second grader, and I, in first. At my school, the two classes would always combine in the mornings and everyone would sing and dance and do the pledge together. Then the classes would seperate back to their original classes and we would resume the rest of our days. This is where we met, and little did we know that as we got older things would change. Long after getting help from my friend after we would find I would have to go do the same just in a different way.

She first came up to me when our classes were conjoined. We were doing a partner activity and I was standing in my lonesome because my friend was not there that day. So, she came up to me and asked if I would like to be her partner. Of course I said yes not wanting to be the odd ball out of the whole class and not have a parnter. After this class we continued to be friends and even started hanging out more outside of school.

As we got older stuff in my life started to change. I moved away but I still went to the same school, for a bit at least. Then I went to a new school for the fifth grade. I did not like it one bit, me and her stayed friends, I even slept over for the entire summer and we went to her camp. It was a great summer. Until the last few weeks of it.

Those last few weeks of that summer was when I was put into foster care. I remember my sister calling me and telling me that there was going to be an older man coming to talk to me and that I should trust him and answer any questions he might ask. Of course my twelve year old self was shy and confused and did not want to talk to some stranger and had no idea why. However, I did as I was told of course.

Once the man came and after talking to me for awhile and asking me strange questions for half an hour to an hour I was asked to go into the other room and play with my friend or for us to go outside, so that he could talk to my friend’s parents.

He talked to them about what was going on and why he was there. After the stranger left they sat down and talked with me. Basically what they were explaining to me was about how I could not go home, and they were willing to let me stay with them, (So technically it is not just my friend that helped me but her whole family), At the time it sounded like fun because it was like having a super long sleepover with my friend (not like I had already been on one of those or anything). I’m still with them to this day and in the process of getting adopted so that is pretty cool.

The time I helped a friend. One of my friends got into a relationship with this one guy (I really did not like him and did not approve of him). I never heard good things about him throughout the school and it was one of those gut feelings where something just was not right. I tried to be open to her “love choices” but it was just one of those bad vibes. I tried being open to them and seeing if this “bad mojo” was just a false misgiving.

However, after some time passed my friend was not as open about things. She would not dress a certain way, she would only wear her hair one way (usually) and just kind of secluded herself from people. So she stopped doing all of these things that she used to do even though she enjoyed it. Knowing her since we were younger I knew something was up. So I got up in her business to see what was going on.

Come to find out he was just a controlling and manipulative guy. She was making all of these changes because it was things he did not like or thought “she should not be doing” because people might pay attention to her and then she would just leave him. So he did not want her doing certain things like wearing any form of dresses or “dressy” clothes, you can not wear your hair in braids because “guys would pay attention to her and he did not want that because she was his”. And would put it as if she did not listen that she was just hurting him and that would make her feel bad and hard on herself. It was really putting her in the “dumps” in ways that were not okay.

I was patient though, dug when I needed to dig, covered her ass when it was needed, tried getting her to talk to me and put the message across about how this relationship has been going in the eyes to the people around her etc.

Finally, my point got across and she had finally listened. She wrote pros and cons and after ending up with a page and a half of cons and only about 5 pros. she finally started to listen and realize what had been happening. After talking through and listening and being there if anything happened she got out of before any more damage could be done.

People can help others in any way possible and they sometimes do not even notice it. For my foster parents to make the decision of letting me stay with them was a big step and I am grateful they did so, because of them I am the person I am today. Sometimes horrible situations can lead to brighter things that need to happen and you just do not realize it. For me, it was just a better environment for myself. For my friend helping her really helped her and is back to her own ways. Helping her also helped me in learning how to help others patiently. I also only learned that she thought I was a boy last year.

Photo by Kerri Lee Smith on Foter.com / CC BY-NC-SA