The Beginning of the End

I have hit a rut in the road that no one, not even I, thought would happen. I have gotten to the point where shooting my bow is no longer something that I strive to do and it is no longer enjoyable. I have stopped shooting. Ever since I was 12 I have been shooting my bow competitively, every single day of the week . Being an archer became my identity. It was finally something that was my sport. In the archery world I was not “Keagan’s little sister” and my dad’s name was finally “Abby’s Dad” and not “Keagan’s Dad”. Everyone can have their opinions about me and archery and tell me until their lips turned blue about how spoiled I am, and they are right. I got everything handed to me. I got all the new bows and arrows and all the new equipment. I was one of the best in the country, but that is all in the past now. Archery is my sport, or was my sport. Many things have happened to lead to this “tragic” ending and one of the most painful being the unknown pain in my colloarbone that made it almost impossible to shoot. This then had the ripple effect; pain = no shooting = limited practice= no big tournaments = sad Abby. Shooting my bow became a task. It became something that I had to do. It was not fun anymore to just shoot my bow. It was difficult to be competitive on limited practice and I started falling hard. Shooting became my job and it felt as though everyone had given me everything, especially my dad. He gave me everything. He gave me all the trips, all the equipment, all the doctors appointments and the endless trips to physical therapy to try and mange the collarbone pain. I felt guilty that everyone was giving me the world when I just did not want it anymore. This was definitely one of the more difficult things that I have done. I had to take a break from archery and shooting. Archery has consumed my life for the past few years and then cabam, it was done… so I thought. I have so much knowledge about archery that was being wasted, until an older man that I have shot with since the beginning started the JOAD (Junior Olympic Archery Development) program in West Gardiner. I have been teaching there since the start of Junior year and it has allowed me to breathe again. Teaching and guiding kids has shown me that a new love for the sport and lit a new spark in my head to keep getting better, for them. I want to keep guiding them and keep learning ways that I can improve myself for them. They have brought back the enjoyment that I have been missing from the sport for a while. I have put my own needs on the back burner for them. Teaching them makes me feel like this is what I am supposed to be doing. Do I want to shoot again? The simple answer is yes, but not right now. Teaching has ignited a new fire that I thought was gone forever. I am able to bring enjoyment to other kids faces the way that others did for me when I first started shooting. I am able to breathe again and be OK with how everything has turned out. I am able to enter the next chapter in my life with it being a little bit different from the previous chapters.

Photo on Foter.com