How to Laugh 101

Laughter is the tonic, the relief, the surcease for pain.

-Charlie Chaplin

One of the strangest things about laughter is that it can often be difficult to find. High and low you may search for it, but it is particularly apt at evading you when you seek it, want it, or need it. A laugh also has a strange tendency to remind you long after an event has passed that a smile would have benefited you much more than a frown. These strange characteristics of laughter were especially evident the day of a particular soccer game in the 8th grade, and today I look back on that day with regret that laughter and I were strangers on that day.

The afternoon heat was strong, as the middle of soccer season was upon us, and the game was exhausting, but we were a well conditioned team. The opponent we were playing that day was one that was supposed to challenge us, yet in the few minutes of the game that had elapsed, they had shown very little skill. The pace was typical of middle school American soccer, with the ball being in the air just as much as it was on the ground. As the game wore on in the sweltering afternoon my patience began to thin. We were winning the game with a comfortable lead of four to one, but the score was not the source of my irritation. What began as a small annoyance at the beginning of the season was beginning to manifest itself now, in the form of players starting to “goof off” during the game.

When angry, count to

four; when very angry,

swear.

-Mark Twain

Now, something you must know about me is that I had a very short fuse when it came to others misbehaving, whether in the classroom or on the field, and I expected others to have the same intolerance that I possessed. However, as playing with kids in grades six through eight taught me, very few others possessed that feeling. This manifested itself during the second half of the game when the score had increased drastically, we were winning by a landslide, and the other kids on the team were beginning to “goof”. Balls were kicked in the air, fancy tricks were tried, and they were even talking to fans on the sideline during the game.

Well, more specifically, backfired in my face, as that is where I was struck full on with the ball.

The heat, my own exhaustion, and the irritation of watching my other teammates lose their focus combined to ignite a red hot fireball inside of me. One that was itching to burst out. The time of release unfortunately came during the game, and it is a memory that I distinctly remember to this day. The game had almost finished, and I was jogging down the field to get into position, one of my better friends at the time tried to do a fancy juggling move as I approached him, and it backfired in his face. Well, more specifically, backfired in my face, as that is where I was struck full on with the ball. You see, part of the trick he was attempting to do involved kicking the ball up into the air a short distance, and when he failed at this task the ball ended up hitting me square in the nose, causing an instant watering of the eyes. Fortunately, the ball was somewhat flat that game, so the only thing hurt was my pride.

• 

Unfortunately, the hurt pride was the drop of water that broke the dam of my so far held back anger, and it spewed out on my friend that had hurt my pride. I won’t go into details, but I said some rather unsavory words about him and his skills, before calling for myself to be subbed and then stewing on the bench. After the game I didn’t make any attempt to look or talk to him, and after the post game huddle the coach pulled me aside. He said that he had seen me yelling at him and was wondering what had happened to make me so mad. I explained to him how I had been building up anger for a myriad of reasons throughout the game, and that action was the one that pushed me over the edge.

The coach smiled and stated that he had figured that I was getting heated as my performance towards the end of the game had become more aggressive. He told me that instead of focusing on the negative aspects of the game, I should have focused on how my game was going, and be happy as I had a few goals and an assist. We discussed that if I had been able to move past the what turned out to be small mistakes by my teammates, maybe I would have not lost my cool on my friend. He urged me to go talk to him and so I did. As we were walking back to our respective cars, I explained the situation to him and apologized for my harsh words. He too then apologized for hitting me in the face, and I held no grudge against him, as it was a complete accident. As we parted ways he cracked a joke about how I was lucky he hadn’t kicked it harder as that would have left a dent in my forehead, and I answered with a chuckle of my own.

To this day we occasionally bring up the incident whenever someone else gets hit in the face, and we are able to laugh about it. It is incredible to see how an apparent negative action that happened many years ago is still affecting our friendship today, but in a positive light. The power of laughter can work wonders I suppose.

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Photo by howard.hall on Foter.com / CC BY-NC-SA

Photo on Foter.com