Nothing to fear but fear itself

What are the questions asked that can really make an individual scared or nervous? For teens at this age there can be the dread of being scared or nervous about so many things; from asking out your crush, to having to present a poem in front of the class. When it comes to these things an individual is faced with a challenge of asking a question, sometimes this person may fear the answer they will receive, the reaction from the other line, or just how people will look at them for possibly even asking such an “absurd” question. For many people such as myself when it comes to being afraid or nervous, in order to help myself I use humor to cope with these certain situations. These feelings of emotion, stress, or nervousness can affect everyone differently and how they react to it.

A time where I was afraid to ask a question was my sophomore year of high school, I woke up, checked my alarm, realizing what time it was, I jumped up immediately my heart started racing, I was late, too late, even, my bus and my only ride to school was gone just like that. I started to panic, I didn’t know what I was going to do, I had already missed the bus twice that week, I had already asked for a ride from my parents the day before, it was going to seem suspicious if I missed it… Like if I did it on purpose. So what did I do? I ignored the situation, instead of doing the mature smart thing like telling my father that I missed the bus I chose to hide… I was too scared to walk up to him and say “I missed the bus, can I get a ride”? Instead, I grabbed my pillow out of bed and a blanket and went and laid in my closet and fell back asleep.

At the time I wasn’t thinking rationally, I assumed the school wouldn’t have called my parents phones to tell them I didn’t show up like the previous times, but I was wrong, later in the day my parents came home and immediately started calling my name knowing where I was. I had to give up the jig was clearly up, had to face my consequences. Something so simple right? What if I had told my dad I missed the bus? What if I had tried to find a ride? What if I went to bed earlier instead of staying up watching youtube? All very good questions I should’ve asked myself or done, instead of having to deal with getting yelled at.

A simple question toward something for an individual can bring so much stress, can truly challenge a person to think deeply or question something. When it comes to things I don’t particularly get or feel stressed instead I think to myself “things can’t be bad for long, it will get better” because just this thought process and positive idea allows me to keep going and to be able to handle my problems, I believe I handle things very well and responsibly… Now at least. Each person can handle things differently and the way a person handles / copes with things like this can say a lot about them and who they are as a person. In my case, sometimes I ignore my problems too much, or I will laugh at them to make myself feel better. For some, these feelings can cause a certain uneasiness, make your body or legs feel shaky, cause an individual to sweat, even leave their voice shaky.

Everyone reacts and handles these feelings differently, but for myself, I’m going to tell a story where I felt a certain uneasiness whether it was just for asking a question, or just in the situation. When it came to it, a time where I was afraid to ask a question that truly made me feel nervous or scared to ask was whether or not someone cared. Sometimes it took time to figure out whether or not it was the right time to ask or try and bring up the thought, but eventually the situation presented itself. This one question… it’s interesting to think something so simple can cause such discomfort or challenge the way it makes me think about something. My biggest fear and biggest insecurity. Asking such a question could overwhelm my thoughts, I wouldn’t say it would cause me fear, but to ask the question it gave me more anxiety at the thought of the answer I was going to receive. The feeling of ultimately being alone, the feeling that I no longer have anyone who cares about me being around. This is something that I try not to think about too often, but sometimes can still be very overwhelming, and I think that at some point many people have wondered the same about their own interpersonal relationships. When it comes too it though I realize I also, have too many people in my life for me to worry about this question for too long, there’s too many people that have been here the longest that I know care. It is better to have one real friend than many fake friends. Although I still have multiple friends that have stuck that I know are real they always assure to me that care, each in different ways, from them just trying to make plans with me, to them asking me for advice on a matter, it makes me feel like I am important and can help them in some shape or form. A problem I do have though is that in the event where I was about to ask this person the question of whether or not they cared I thought to myself “Maybe if I wait it out and let them come to me, it will prove to myself that they care enough”.

So that’s what I did I decided to wait instead of talking to the person to see if they would come back and check on me. Sometimes it takes more than this, though sometimes I couldn’t be afraid to ask the question, the wait and anticipation could be too much and I had to just ask the question. It will continue to stick to me and allow for me to keep a positive mindset and not ask myself the question of whether or not these people do care. For me, it’s the idea of asking “Do you care” that can be so absolutely scary. Just this one question can mean so much, it can ask do you care about me, do you care about our friendship, do you care about my opinion, do you even care about anything I say? Whether it’s verbally asking this question to an individual, or even having to type it out in a message it can be so hard.

Without me asking this I would’ve never got the confirmation, I would’ve never got the assurance and comforting feeling of knowing whether or not the person or people I cared so much about really cared about me.

Photo by nelio filipe on Foter.com / CC BY-NC-ND