Well…Two is Better Than One

It is often thought that friendships are formed through like-minded, joyful, and energetic moments that two people experience together, but this is not always the case. In the story I am about to tell, it is in fact the opposite, but this does not take away from its importance. sometimes when going through an event that is quite the opposite of fun, it is most helpful to have someone close by your side that is unfortunately going through the same.

  What unfortunate event could I be talking about you might ask? Well, I am talking about the struggles that one faces on a soccer field. Yes I know, here’s another boohoo story about how you didn’t win the championship, but hear me out. First off, I need to preface this story that before these events took place, this person and I were not close friends. Yes, we knew each other’s names and faces, but outside of the social interactions of day-to-day practice we did not know each other any better.

In addition to this the growing of the friendship took place over several months, and arguably years,and that is one of the redeeming features of a friendship that lasts for a while. My struggle on the soccer field took place during my sophomore year of high school. Having just come off a losing season, that was also my first experience of high school soccer, my morale was somewhat justifiably low. We were not expected to be a Powerhouse team, and in the end it turned out we weren’t, but that is not the point. Point is as a sophomore starter on the high school team I felt the need to carry my weight in order to prove to the Juniors and seniors that it was a spot I deserved, and I was struggling with that. Yes I had the foot skills, the goals, the assists to justify my spot on the starting 11, but my maturity in the game I felt was lacking, mentally, but mostly physically. This is where the role of my new to be friend would come into play. What I needed during this time was a hard knock in the direction of doing something to improve my maturity within the game, not a polite little nudge, and a hard knock did he give! 

 During practice the person that was a somewhat close friend in school, was not my friend on the field, and I could not yet figure out why. It was not that he was mean or rude, but he would do his best to “bully” me, in a sense. Not in the classic “oh you’re bad” or “why are you so slow” type of bullying, but the type of bullying that can be done on a sports field by someone that is better than you. This consists of all around being physically and mentally dominated by the other player during practices, slight shoves in the back to let me know he was guarding me well, slippery tackles to take the ball away from me, and hard shots to the gut with a soccer ball to force me to hold my ground. While at the time I was confused at the change  from fun-loving school friend to hardcore mode soccer friend oh, I learned to appreciate it. During the time at my sophomore year I needed someone to be that lean mean killing machine on the soccer field to me, especially in practice. It’s his presence and support within school combined with his brutality on the soccer field that forced me to become more mentally tough, and a whole lot more physically tough on the soccer field. 

On the flip side of the story, there’s the way in which I repay this friend, helping him in his pursuit of happiness outside of soccer. In the same way that he administered tough love to me, I was beginning to do the same to him. This is because without getting into detail, he was going through a rough patch in his life, and it happened to be something I had already gone through, so I decided that I could help. In his case, but I had to get him to snap out of the funk that he was placed in for various reasons. This is where the tough love came in, like he had done for me I was less concerned with the path it took to get there as long as I could get him to the final destination. In this case, we both needed the other person to “smack us upside the head” In order to realize how to best sort out the problem. During the course of helping him through his difficult situation I was there for him as a friend, but also pushed him to move past his current emotional blows, and realize how good life truly was. 

During this time, was when I truly began to appreciate what he did for me during soccer season of my sophomore year. It isn’t easy to make the decision to do what is best for the other person, especially when it means doing something that they may not initially enjoy. In the long run however, it both benefited both of us immensely. In terms of my soccer career, the increase in competition from this team mate and increase in physicality helped to make me a more mature soccer player. In addition to this, it helped me form a bond with that team mate, as I realised how much good he had done for me in my own self interest. As far as my friend goes, my “tough love” helped him to snap out of the funk that he was in, even if he got a little mad at me in the midst of it. In the end, these two separate but important events between me and my friend helped to make a stronger bond that lasts to this day. 

Photo by faungg’s photos on Foter.com / CC BY-ND