A Dad’s Guide on How To Be a Dad

Every day in this quickly changing world, new things are invented and old ideas are laid to rest. People come and go, and jobs that were once important are no longer needed, but there is a role that has existed since the beginning of humanity: Fatherhood. There always has been and always will be a need for fathers, and they come in many different varieties. Some dads are related to their kids by blood, while others are simply a father figure. Some dads go to every one of their kid’s sports games and love them endlessly while still implementing discipline. Some dads offer support to their kids in any way possible while some dads walk away from the responsibility of loving and caring for their children. The art of fatherhood is truly a fine line. 

I know a lot about my Dad. I know that he likes to hike, and travel, and play the piano. I also know that he has an unquenchable sweet tooth and that he works with people to design roads and intersections for a living. I know that he is inspiring, smart, compassionate, and educated. However, there is one thing about him that I don’t know: what it’s really like to be a dad. And what better time to find out than on a long car ride together? We were heading up to a camp in Pittsburgh, New Hampshire, that’s been in my family for generations. I can’t think of anyone that would be more qualified than my strong, caring, supportive father to help other dads learn the ropes of fatherhood, so I asked my dad some questions on our way up to camp. To all the fathers out there, listen up. Here’s a Dad’s Guide on How To Be a Dad.

First things first, my dad highly recommends keeping a few select things in your survival kit. You’ll want a sense of humor, plenty of cash on hand, and a charm-deflector to shield you from giving in to your kids’ puppy dog eyes. You’ll also need to learn how to say “no” and not be afraid to use it when it’s the right word to use. There are also several important qualities that make someone a good dad. Good fathers are patient and kind. They are willing to put others (their family) first, and they have the ability to say yes or no and stick by that decision. Good fathers also need to be fair, especially if they have more than one kid. I was curious, so I asked, “Do you think that it’s acceptable to have a favorite child?” My dad responded, “Since all kids are different, you’re probably going to relate to each one differently. Sometimes you might relate to one easier than the other, but you shouldn’t love one more than the other or treat them unfairly.” I couldn’t help but admire this response. My dad also explained that you’ll want to, “Be present and try to see things from your child’s point of view. Don’t try to look at it from your point of view and wonder why they aren’t going along with how you think things should be.” 

At this point, we were coming up on a roadside stand that sells homemade whoopies pies, cookies, pies, and other baked goods. Since my dad can’t say no to a good whoopie pie, it’s tradition to stop there and pick up some to munch on for the rest of the trip. As he got back in the car with a treat for each of us (my mom and cousin were also in the car), I asked him if there is anything dads can get away with that moms often can’t. Dads, take notes. You may be able to use this in the future. He said, “Dad’s can get away with certain things because it’s almost like the expectation is lower and sometimes we’re like a big kid ourselves.” Apparently, dads are also a bit less concerned with “the rules,” so they can often get away with being the “fun ones” or pulling the “don’t tell Mom.” 

Some of you may have heard of the “Dad Card.” I was curious about if or how my dad had ever used it to get what he wanted or to get out of something. I found out that having a “Dad Card” to pull has its perks. For example, my dad has used it to get out of teaching a karate class so he could come to my soccer game. He’s also found it to come in handy when he’s had to take my brother and I to appointments and was able to get out of various boring work meetings. However, I have to caution you. Taking advantage of the “Dad Card” is highly discouraged and should only be done on the rarest of occasions.

One thing’s for sure: being a dad will never be boring. By the time we made it up to camp, I think I had learned almost everything there is to know about being a dad, and my teacher was the best of the best. Now I know my own dad even better than I had before. It seems only right to leave the new dads with some quality advice from my dad, so I asked him to provide a few tips. The most important thing to know? “Time goes by really fast. It won’t seem like it when your kid is waking up crying in the night, but eventually they’re going off to college, so enjoy the time you have.” In other words, buckle up and hang on, because you’re in for a ride.

Featured Image:“Father and child on the beach” by tonko43 is licensed under CC BY 2.0