CHANGE IS GOOD

Stepping into a puddle and arguing with someone are two different things. One can be quite frustrating but can be brushed off and the other is something that could make you blow up. My temper and emotions have never been something I have been able to fully control. In some situations I could feel myself shaking with rage others would turn me red and then make me cry and the smallest things would upset me. A backhanded comment or smart remark would make me want to tear someone down, especially when it was directed towards insecurity of mine. This wasn’t right, and I knew that. I thought it would make me feel better about myself, it didn’t. There was one time when I got into an argument with my friend. She was my best friend, but that did not matter though. She had brought something up and it had offended me. I said awful things someone should never say to another person, especially a best friend. She looked at me almost tearing up and said: “you are such a bitch, I thought we were supposed to be friends”. At that moment I realized what I had done. What I had been doing for a long time. I had become someone I did not want to become. I saw the same hurt I had felt many times. It did not make me feel better hurting her. It made me feel worse and I knew I needed to change. I would need to learn how to control my feelings and emotions. This was going to be a huge step in the right direction for me. I wanted to be a better person and Instead of tearing people down, I wanted to lift people up. I made the decision that it was time to be better. People had done that to me before and It did not feel the best. I started becoming a kinder person I got the same in return. How could I have missed this? A person gets what is given out. However, some people are rude and still say upsetting things to me. One of those upsetting things was why does your hair look like that? I had not had the best morning and was very irritable. I threw my hair up thinking it was good enough. So when that was said I became angry I wanted to point out something that would hurt them, but I didn’t. I kept it cool. What I have to remember at the end of the day is they might be hurting inside like I was, so I just continue being kind. Even when I am angry and upset I try to be the bigger person. I am still trying to build strength to this day to hold back my anger, but it is improving. I have changed a lot since then and it was for the greater good.

“Fire!” by Xenith.org is licensed under CC BY-SA 2.0