The Future Mistake

Sometimes I like to think about how we all live our lives differently. To me, it has always seemed kind of funny because then it leaves so much room for how we want to experience life. Some live their lives for others, some live their life for themselves, some live in the present and some in the future. This is kind of like the seeds we plant in our gardens. Everyone plants their seed in the garden, but everyone plants a different one, no two are alike. It’s what results of that seed that makes life so wonderful. For me, I like to live my life in the future so I can do something really great with my life, and this is my biggest mistake.

I have always lived my life in the future, maybe it was the way I was raised or something I just naturally did, but I relied so strongly on that way of life that it never allowed me to live my life in the present. My parents always tell me how I need to go out and experience life for what it is and enjoy being young because it won’t last forever. It never made sense to me why my peers were so ambitious about dating or hanging out all the time, but now I’ve realized something that would change my point of view on life. I’ve realized that life isn’t about getting the highest score, that life isn’t about being the best at everything, and that there is so much more than that if you just let the seed grow. I guess it all started when I was about ten or eleven how in hockey I was never really that great, that’s why in tryouts I always barely made the team. The Coach always looked at me and saw potential, that if I was taller and more filled out like everyone else that then I would be a great player. The Coach invited me on to the team only after someone else did not accept the invitation to be on the team. In a way, it was good for me to feel that level of rejection from my peers and adults that I looked up to because it gave me wood to toss in the fire. This gave me the desire and hunger to work harder and so I’d plan workouts and what I would do when I finally got to the top. I always lived to be the best; better than my peers, better than my coaches, better than what everyone thought I could be capable of. This kind of mindset did not allow me however to live in the moment and to cherish my friends and family. I was always so focused on working out and getting better that I never made any time to hang out with my friends. This caused me to lose contact with some of my best friends and in turn, I became obsessed with getting better. This has been my biggest mistake because I lost out on so many opportunities to make friends and life-long memories. My best friend moved on and hung out with other friends making memories without me whilst I was obsessed with improving. This made me feel lonely, and sad that I had no one to talk to or laugh with. This resulted in me being even more consumed with my work because that was the only thing that would make me forget how alone I really was. If there was one thing I wish I could go back and change about my high school career I would change how little I hung out with friends.

“future” by Sean MacEntee is licensed under CC BY 2.0