Cassie’s Typical Senior Speech

Class of 2022. Wow, we made it through senior English class. Me, being the self-centered, pick me girl I am, would like to confess and share my school tragedies throughout grade school beginning in the second grade. Dare’s do not always have to be completed; it is OK to deny a dare unless it alters your middle school social status, of course. Hand, foot, and mouth disease is an embarrassing consequence of licking someone’s foot. So, you’re better off taking your third ‘chicken’ of the game. Thank you Makayla for teaching me my first lesson. 

When picture day is around the corner, avoid any outside activities. I had not known at the time that the universe was against each school picture day I had to take. My face was barely shown in third grade from an unknown rash that mysteriously disappeared only a few days after the pictures. The universe will always be against you, or maybe just me. 

Let’s be honest, the summer is the only highlight of school, but in my case, this was the time brown tail moth disease absorbed the back of my knees; While poison ivy was eating away at my ankles. That didn’t stop me from enjoying the teacup ride at FunTown SplashTown USA, where American families come to play.

 I continued to persevere through these circumstances until I felt true failure in the fifth grade. ‘Star360’ is supposed to be strictly for the school district to determine the average intelligence of Oak Hill students. If the test was failed, you were put into a lower grade English or math class. I would know, being a fifth-grader in a third-grade reading class. I was assumed to need more than the average help and was forced into a title one class. My parents got a letter in the mail that needed to be signed in order for me to get out of this plight. My mom was frantic but had faith her little girl could push through. The secretary received an angry phone call and a signed paper immediately. It was morally discouraging to receive such doubt about my ability to read and write. Asking for help from my big brother was undeniable the hardest thing I have ever had to do, but the only way I could grow my English education and prove to myself and the school board, that I was and still am capable of writing an essay. Some people would still disagree. But I believe I am an impeccable writer thanks to my knowledge in vocab from five thousand, six hundred minutes of Membean. 

Membean became my best friend in the time of cohorting and isolation going into Sophomore year ad the transition to Junior year. We, as a class, had to adjust to many changes, including making trips bright and early to the local Hannaford to be the first and last to purchase toilet paper. I felt as though I had lived under a rock, unable to keep up with the newest trends and fashion at the time of the coronavirus. 

Not only did I get infected by the coronavirus, but also basicity. The well-known basic girl of the school. “SKSKSKSK”. 

The last condition that I am currently still recovering from is Senioritis. Which reminds me, my mom should be calling me out any moment now so I will finish by giving you my last pieces of advice. Find ways to create your own vaccines and push through each of the future obstacles. There will always be some positive outcome. No matter how many school events you do, it does not declare you a definite spot in the yearbook. Reading back over my speech I couldn’t help but wonder how the rest of my life is going to go; and good luck to all of yours. 

“Girl’s School Number 001” by gfoots is licensed under CC BY-NC-SA 2.0.Copy text