Value What You Feel in Your Heart, Not Your Mind

When given the prompt for this profile I immediately thought of one person, the most valuable man in my life, my grandfather. He has had a great impact on the man I am today and aspire to be in my near and distant future. What he has tought me in every aspect of life I will hold with me forever, after he is gone and until I get to see him again, his legacy and lessons will be passed down onto my children as well and I only hope theirs too.

I opened this discussion with the background questions, first being “what is your name?” To which he proudly said with a protruding chest he said his entire name. I was a little taken away as to how I never thought of or heard his entire name read out loud, to me he has always and will always be “Gramps’ a name he has always loved and appreciated. Next question to ask was “What is your occupation?” which led into my topic of discussion. “I own D.S Masonry, a  masonry company which I created 43 years ago, until next year when I plan to retire the company and myself” Don’t let this fool you, he has said he plans on retiring every year for about, I’d say 5 years now. The man would simply have too much boredom occupying the time which he doesn’t spend with his lovely fiancé, I think he would go crazy, this shows the tireless work ethic of grandparents alike, and his generation as a whole. 

I followed up this answer with “did you do anything before you started the company?”. Before his response I knew this would be new knowledge to me, he has never really spoken about his past. When I mentioned that he said “ you never asked” doing his signature grin. Listening intently to his voice he stated, “I started with a dead end fast food job but as I said it was a dead end and I needed to make actual money. This is when my dad, your great grandfather, his friend, offered to follow him to fix a chimney and paid me just a little more than the fast food job. I stayed with it and followed him and experienced all the fields of masonry until I was in my early 20’s and decided I wanted to work for myself”. He had to start working early because he had my dad at 17, forcing him to drop out and take up work. This is the work ethic he talks about when he goes on his rants about how kids these days don’t know what hard work is. He never lets me forget how I am his exception however, from a very young age he taught me to work for what you want and the more you work the more reward you reap, I even tagged along from twelve to fourteen in the summers learning some things myself.

I, myself, aspire to work for myself one day as well, I suppose it runs in the blood, curious I asked “Why did you decide you needed to work for yourself?”. His response spoke to me as to why I also want to work for myself opposed to under another man “When I was working for uncle D (Great grandfather’s friend) I put in long hard hours and whilst it did provide me with the support I needed for your dad, it wasn’t enough, I didn’t want to survive living paycheck to paycheck working for my boss more than myself, I wanted to make as much as the boss did”. I consolidated with him on how I feel the same way at Burger King and how I too experience the same feeling of corporate dominancy like he did. Trading days of life for a reward that does not feel as if it is deserving of the amount of time that you can not get back. “Did doing your own work and taking the huge risk starting this company pay off?”.  His response told me more than I expected. “Well, I’ll start from the beginning, when I started the company I didn’t know as much as I thought I had, I still learn to this day and I’ve been doing this for over 40 years.” He didn’t mention it in his response but from my dad I know when he started he had to walk and sometimes hitch to work, with all his gear on his back. “During these first few years it created me as a businessman not just a mason, I learned not to take shit from anyone and I learned how to get the money I felt I deserved and not a penny less. Mind you your father was growing up at home with his mom at the time whilst everything was happening, almost all my earnings went toward home there was no saving for me at this time which made it hard to expand business wise. Once I got enough business and money saved I got some employees which brought more cash flow in, then better tools and a vehicle. I began to run the company more so than working, my days were still spent scouring the different job sites to make sure work was being done exactly as if I were there. I began to start living life a little more now, I built a home and remarried my first now late wife and continued to work but I kept it local, now that you and your sister are here I don’t regret anything and now I get to travel as I work, and travel more when I’m not.” He doesn’t say it directly, however I could feel the yes to my question in his tone of voice. My grandfather worked hard and long in his life, nowadays he has one employee, his best friend, and a truck and trailer. He has a contract to work on post offices all over New England. He works when he wants a little travel money, and leaves it to his friend when he is gone if he wants to work or not. He spends time with his wife and family now, however his health is rapidly declining due to his long life of work. He can hardly hear or see, the pains in every joint and bone in his body, but the one thing he has never lost was his smile, he always wears it everywhere and his spirit has never declined as his body has, everyday he enjoys his work and it may not pay off in some ways, it does in more than many ways. This is one more thing he urges me to do, less physical labor and more “business manning” as he says he believes it is easier now than then.

After listening to gramps I had one final question for him before we got our food served and ate, “Why didn’t you take D.S as big as you could have?” I was wondering why if he had the chance, he didn’t take the opportunity to make a fortune. In his answer I did not expect to learn something about my grandfather I did not already know. “Money changes people, and besides I didn’t live for money, I lived for family and friends. My highest netting gross profit was 2.6 million, not personally but company wise. That year I had 16 employees, and endless assets god I don’t even remember how many vehicles and tools. That was also the most stressful year of my life, I had more money than I needed or could use, I was alone and you weren’t here yet, even so I didn’t have time to enjoy it, too much to manage and nit pick at. I discovered my values as a man, value what you feel in your heart, not in your mind. I already had a good reputation and had more local jobs than I needed so there was no need to take things even farther after this. I would have had no time for anything other than business and I do not regret my decision to stay somewhat small. It has built my reputation as the man I am today. I have made more than enough to keep myself and those around me happy as well as at the time I didn’t know it but I was making enough and creating a foundation for you to grow and become your own man just as I did with your father. It is those words, the title of this writing, “value what you feel in your heart not your mind.” we as people live chasing this imagination that we have for the future of our lives, that we don’t ever take time to appreciate what’s ours. Again he has taught me something that no amount of money will ever be greater than, a piece of wisdom. He made me think how people become different when people leave behind their values and morals for money and materials.

“Masonry Scaffold” by RICarr is licensed under CC BY-NC-ND 2.0.