Blind to the Truth

A close friend of mine was in a relationship with a girl who joined the military directly out of high school. I won’t disclose what branch, and for the sake of everyone’s privacy I won’t say names. When she came back from basic training she treated my friend a lot different, and my friend was concerned, but always wanted to try his best to make things work. I’d hear about and witness her starting arguments over miniscule problems, and would almost bait him into breaking up with her. My friend was getting fed up and annoyed with how melodramatic she would be for no reason. This was all very suspicious to him but he wasn’t willing to throw away all the time he spent with her. She said initially she only wanted to sign the minimum contract, but after basic training she decided to go for 20 years. She claimed it was because she was met so many great new people who understood her.

Another point she would jab at was it was her decision and her career, “and if that’s not okay with you I don’t want to be with you”, which particularly got under my friend’s skin. Everyone who was involved thought it was so weird how much she changed in only eight weeks, but it was because she had been keeping some secrets from her partner. I didn’t know this at the time, but another reason for her behavior was because she had been talking with another man and eventually felt guilty about it.

As odd as this all was, myself and my friends just kept reassuring our friend that his girlfriend was acting strange because of all the changes, not because of anything either of them did directly. My friend’s peers obviously wanted the best outcome for the situation, but his girlfriend would continue to be deceitful, pick fights, and refuse to talk about them with him.

This is where mistakes were made. At this point my friend should have left because he had been putting up with this for almost half a year. As friends, we should have encouraged him to leave her as soon as she blatantly started treating him poorly. We, being my other friends, understood why he was conflicted to leave her, because he had already spent so much time and dedication into his relationship. If nothing else we all learned that some relationships can’t be saved, which was a sad conclusion to come to, but had to happen. It also brought me closer to my friend, with him now knowing that I’ll be here for the good and bad times. No matter what his decision ends up being my friend will still get hurt. The only difference is one decision will hurt temporarily, and the other could result in a potential lifetime of unhappiness.

“Sleeping Cat – Paw Eye Mask” by Julian Schroeder is licensed under CC BY-NC-ND 2.0.